Candle wax

By Louise178

Sat, 18 Sep 2010
  • 4314 reads
18 comments
 

The candle waxes
it does wane
flickers dances
lights up all
your wretched pain
it drips and melts
it seals your fate
on the outside
of the envelope
scrawled, spider written
with emotional hate...

Dear John..

Certificate U
Poem
Poems
Humour

Comments

Submitted by Highhat on
good poem- 'spider written with emotional hate. . ' good ending

Submitted by Louise178 on
Thanks Highhat.

Louise

Submitted by Kahdai on
This is great, rythem & rhyming, I like it! K

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by Louise178 on
Shouldn't really love your own poems should you, but I love the humour in this! It came out rhyming, it wasn't planned, I am anti rhyming and stanzas aswell :) what do you want - a knife and fork, a plastic plate and a serviette please! we should have a jokey forum bit on here, where you can mess around with words and people could chip in, that would be fun :)oh sorry, thank you for your comment.x

Louise

Submitted by Highhat on
I think we can joke as much as we like along the way with our comments. Just get started ;)maybe a plastic serviette ? pia

Submitted by Louise178 on
ok - a plastic serviette and a cup of tea, with a stale rich tea and some sympathy please!

Louise

Submitted by Highhat on
a bitter tea rich with sympathy and a table cloth I can wipe my fingers on ;)

Submitted by Louise178 on
thats cool :) carrying on - and a table cloth I can wipe my fingers on, chequered and bright, all things nice, as the juke box plays in this plastic cafe..

Louise

Submitted by Highhat on
just sitting on one of the plastic chairs in this greasy cafe wishing someone would turn down the plastic music so I can drink my bitter sympathetic tea in peace

Submitted by Highhat on
oh I get it now- sorry a bit slow;)

Submitted by Highhat on
carrying on ;)- as the jukebox plays in this plastic cafe so that the noise is ear deafening, so I leave my plastic seat and walk onto the neon lit street, dead on my feet and light in my head

Submitted by Louise178 on
Good morning Highhat don't worry I am constantly slow, so slow I almost go backwards :) I am disappointed we left the cafe so soon, I wanted a milkshake and some apple pie! anyway carrying on - dead on my feet and light in my head, as the door closes on the warmth behind and the rain pours down, refreshingly cold, autumn wetness on my eyes my nose, I trip, I skip, I rush for the bus and join the queue, of fellow evening travellers in the night time dusk...there's something hovering, not quite tangible, a slight angle, a feeling of words wanting to burst out, wanting to get angry, needing to digress, to shock to frighten, to make you jump and gasp, mmm what happens next? has Christina sneaked into my bedroom and pinched my mascara, but we must return to the plot, as we haven't got one yet! mm what happens next...

Louise

Submitted by Highhat on
needing to digress, to shock, to frighten, to make you jump and gasp so I grabbed hold of a busker and asked him for a quid so I could afford a milkshake at the next cafe. He handed me a plastic cup and said that it was empty. I looked into the depths of this person and found myself looking onto the doors of heaven. It was in her eyes as she was standing there with her little ukulele.I'll buy you a milkshake and tell Christina not to snatch your mascara if you play a song on my ukulele. . . the plot is to get rid of the plastic which means we have either to go back in time or live very organically. . .

Submitted by Louise178 on
carrying on - if you play a song on my ukulele, you must be joking, I can't stand such old fashioned music, I am a with it girl, techno beat is more my scene, anway I gave the busker a shove and again waited for the bus! ..yesterday I had such a busy shopping list of life, things to do and be done, hence the delay to our tale..carrying on, oh no you groan, oh yes I reply...I hopped on the bus to nature world, I had bought a ticket from 99p land, cheap at the price, fed up with this plastic world, wanting somewhere green and organic to live my life, the trip was quick, I was on a high, I floated off and followed the signs. I heaved open the wooden gate, wow rainbows, butterflies, sunny weather, it was just like a garden of eden and under a tree would you believe it, was adam and eve, wearing nothing but fig leaves arguing over an apple....to be continued hopefully!

Louise

Submitted by Highhat on
wearing nothing but fig leaves arguing over an apple which was rotten anyway. I couldn't believe the petty uptight conversation was really taking place so I went to sit under the rainbow and devour a fig. They had actually left their figs behind and I was more than glad to twist this one between my false teeth.I wasn't thinking straight after having witnessed Adam and Eve's silly argument so I was very taken a back when who other than God appeared on the scene of this 99p heavenly zone not far from the organic shoe shop in Oxford Street. . . .

Submitted by Louise178 on
So the tale is going to be carried on - on a blog at http://Highjack63.blogspot.com it is called Point of Contact, anyway the point being we needed somewhere to carry on the tale, so Highhat and I are authors on the said blog, we can have upto a 100, wishful thinking I know, anyway if anyone wants to join in just send me your e-mail and I will add you as an author, you can twist the story, start again, mess around, have fun..hopefully

Louise

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi Louise 178, I have been to the blogspot, but I am quite new to the Internet and I am not sure what to do, please can you help. Jenny.

 

Submitted by Louise178 on
Hi Jenny, to join in I need your e-mail address then I just add you as an author, which if you would like to join in, I will of course do :)

Louise