Coffin thoughts

There's no way back
The future looks black
The past was okay
But it ended today.

I play a sad song
But I don't want to sing it
I locked the back door
But I just want to wing it.

I know it's my fault
That it turned out this way
All I can foretell
Is death and decay.

I think of wrists and razor blades
I know it's the only way out
But then I lose courage and back down again
And then I just want to shout.

The rhythm of this poem
Differs every verse
But it's very hard to write steadily
When your mind is in a hearse.

I sometimes imagine my funeral
The grey sky filled with crows
And my mum is there, chalk white and sobbing
Clutching a blood red rose.