Child Like Me

By hannahxrose

Thu, 03 Mar 2011
  • 2013 reads
9 comments
 

I remember a promise you gave to me
On that special day when I turned three
A promise of love, of care and attention
But it was the kind that I was never allowed to mention

Is it any wonder I still cower at the dark
When night after night you left you mark
I’d wait, I’d listen and then I’d hear
The closing of the bedroom door that brought on the fear

The shadow of you that would kneel beside me
Do all those things and then whisper that you love me
That you can’t tell mummy she wouldn’t understand
It was our little secret you said as you held my hand

I’d weep, I’d cry and ask myself why
Why did I feel like I wanted to die
Mummy died when I turned seven
I was told the angels had come and she flew to heaven

But you told me I was the one to blame
I was a bad girl who bought her shame
She couldn’t live any more with a child like me
So you cut her lose and set her free

I myself, died at ten
My defenceless body pumped full of heroin
I closed my eyes and surrendered to the light
Where never again would I have to face the night

Certificate 15
Poem
Love

Comments

Submitted by Mangone on
Not sure I understand this Hannah. Here’s what it said to me - am I close? I remember a promise you gave to me On that special day when I turned three A promise of love, of care and attention But of a kind I could never mention Is it any wonder I still cower in the dark When night after night you left you mark I’d wait, I’d listen, and then I’d hear The closing door that brought on the fear The shadow of you that would kneel beside me Whisper you loved me with fingers inside me Say it was our little secret as you held my hand I mustn’t tell mummy she wouldn’t understand I’d weep, I’d cry and ask myself why Why did I feel like I wanted to die Mummy died when I turned seven I was told the angels had taken her to heaven But you told me I was the one to blame I was a bad girl who brought her shame She couldn’t live any more with a child like me So you cut her lose and set her free Three years later - perhaps your biggest sin My defenceless body pumped full of heroin I closed my eyes and surrendered to the light Never again would I have to face the night

Submitted by Highhat on
Dear Mangone- did you really have to spell it out? Didn't you get it first time around? I think it is pretty obvious.

Submitted by Highhat on
This is a heart rendering tale of a really sick crime against a little child. I think you did well on the rhyme - pretty good piece- well done ;)Pia

Submitted by Highhat on
oops hit the button twice- sorry:S

Submitted by Mangone on
As you say Highhat ‘a really sick crime against a little child’. However, was the mother murdered and was heroin part of the ’ritual’ or just used the once to send the child to her mother?

Submitted by Highhat on
Oh Sorry Mangone- I took it she took the heroine to drown out the trauma. Well you've got me thinking now- I wonder if Hannah can tell us the connection? ;)Pia

Submitted by hannahxrose on
Yes, he murdered the mother and part of the abuse was that he gave her the drugs. Thanks for all your insights, really helpful x

hannahxrose

Submitted by Mangone on
Yes, I take your point Highhat but I couldn't resist the rhyme of beside me with inside me. I would edit or delete it - but I find it can't be editted. I took it that he did it as Hannah used 'defenceless body'...

Submitted by Mangone on
Thanks for clearing those points up Hannah!