morning sunshine

It was an odd place to wake up by anyone’s reckoning: in a hammock next door to The Pacific.
Especially when you are pretty-damn-certain you were nowhere near the thing the day before…
Seemingly that doesn’t make any difference in this day and age though; reality will do as it pleases, to hell with wherever you thought you were!

So there I was, anyway, right where I didn’t know where I was: waking up in a hammock by a specific kind of ocean I had never met before. All the while rudely covered in sunshine.
This was a strange and confusing situation; even a professional drunkard would have to admit that this was ‘unusual’.

I thought it a sensible precaution to take in my surroundings. Thusly I proceded towards the big blue, negotiating a rather posh swimming pool and the drunken sleeping salvadorian who was probably guarding it, and went beachward - toward The Pacific Ocean.

It is big. I do not know if you have ever seen The Pacific Ocean. But for everything that anyone has ever said about it, you can also say this too: ‘Big’. Possibly even twice.

I stood, barefoot and I looked out across that big blue thing, full of life and mouths and teeth and death and starfish. And the seaweed, turtles, squid and other invertebrates which are extremely tasty, and all the other things which are crazy and seaborne and will probably eat you given half a chance.
‘Good Morning’, I said, in my most polite, ‘sorry I woke up in your house and don’t really know where i am’ voice.
The ocean just stared back at me. This made things decidedly uncomfortable; I don’t know if you have ever had a whole ocean stare at you? but it is not nice.

‘Ummm…’ I said; I could hear the sound of a million starfish tutting.

‘Is there any chance you can point me in the direction fo the nearest bus stop?’