Addiction

What exactly is addiction?
Can it be that I am addicted?
Addicted to the fulfilment,
Of the drugs coursing through my veins,
It is illegal I know,
But I like to forget,
To overlook the past and pain,
Disregard who I am for a long while.

I like the loss of feeling,
The light flying of my soul,
To know what it is to be normal,
I must feel like a human being,
I can see the pictures,
It is the hallucinations,
Happy pictures float in my eyeballs,
And I want to try to catch them.

The pictures of a happy family,
Images of open fields with flowers,
Me, as a young girl running,
Dipping my fingers through the long grass,
The perfect home looms above me,
Getting near as I run faster.
I reach my hand out to open the door,
But it is too far away.

I get frustrated,
The door handle escapes my grasp,
The drugs are wearing thin,
It is ending,
I am back in the real world,
Back to being myself,
The drugs are no longer in my blood,
It is over