Journey To Hell

Journey To Hell

I awoke a very unhappy bunny. I had been having a very long and complicated dream, in which I'd been trying to score for ages..Finally, getting hold of at least half a pound of the best China White I needed a safe house to sample the goods. I desperately scanned the surreal landscape in search of a safe house. I somehow knew I was in Hammersmith though there were few buildings any more. In fact, in this dream Hammersmith looked more like a post-apocalyptic rock festival site and no longer the known London suburb.

Suddenly, an old acquaintance called Limpy emerged through the smoke of camp fires, I wondered how mush gear I'd have to part with for Limpy to let me use his house”Can we go to yours ? Ive some real dynamite” I said “Of course” said Limpy, smiling a toothless grin and pointing to a tent. In a flash I dived into Limpys tent,prepared the gear and was just about to take what can only be described as the hit of all hits when I woke up . Sick skint and right in it !

This was serious. I cursed my fate. I should of saved something for the morning. Greed usually got the better of me and last night had been no exception. I dragged myself from the bed

There are many ingenious methods skint addicts use to earn their daily hits, the most common is known as grafting. This is the liberation of stock and selling of items to reliable fences. Another is to simply ask every one you meet to give you a pound. But, my method was folk music.

Feeling like shit, I found my Mandolin, stuffed it into my ruck sack and got onto my bicycle, I pointed it towards Marble Arch and started pedalling. This journey would be tough. It was already nine o'clock. I prayed the pitch was free. By the time I got to Marble Arch I was feeling terrible, with shaky hands I locked my bike to some railings and staggered towards the underpass.

As I got into my tunnel and saw it was free I speeded up to my favourite spot halfway along. This tunnel was bleak, it was painted an off yellow colour and just being here made you feel ill. Cold blasts of wind would rush and swirl around causing mini twister tornadoes of dust and rubbish to form. People hurried through wanting to spend little time here. This was a tough venue.

I take the Mandolin out of the backpack and throw the pack to the ground. I find a few copper coins in my pocket and spread them over the rucksack. I do my best to tune up. This was tricky with my head swimming and this incessant message about Oyster cards across the public address system. The sickness was kicking in !

My little collection of Irish tunes often won the day. Trying not to vomit I started to play Morrisons a nice hypnotic reel that's guaranteed to get a good reaction and after a while a few coins started to be dropped. I was up by two pounds twenty when along came another busker called Bundy. I knew this cat well “ Hi Bundy” I said
“What's happening man” ? Said Bundy
“You'll have to come back in an hour” I said. This is standard busker etiquette, every one gets their hour. Bundy walked away leaving me exactly one hour to make the rest of the cash I needed.

Feeling woozy, I played the classic reel Drowsy Maggie for the next hour. Playing one reel that's designed to last about two minuets for a whole hour, while undergoing severe withdrawal is not that sensible . By the time Bundy returned I felt really disoriented, but I had the cash I needed.

By now though I was experiencing involuntary muscle spasms. Twitching I made my way to the call box. I tried Large, but he was off. Then I called Dirty,his mobile went onto answer phone. Finally, I got through to +Scabs, who said he'd meet me outside Mac Donald's in twenty.
Outside Mac Donalds I waited. I twitched. I waited some more. After thirty five minutes I decided to call Scabs back I struggled back to the phone box, only to find it occupied by a woman who clearly intended to spend the next two and a half hours talking absolute bollocks !

Furious I turned back towards Mac Donalds. Where finally I see Scabs. He sucks his teeth and tells me I'm “bait”I \apologise . He passes me the little bag I give him the cash
The End.
Afterword...I no longer do this.