Chagrin

I chiseled a model of you,
did you recognize yourself -
do you know who you are?

if you do then you know
the perception is real -

gentle tears I wipe away
that face staring back at me,

your figure is vulgar
you have no panache -
if I were your lover
you'd be out on your ass,

how can you say that
you're great in the sack?
if I were your lover
you'd be out with the cat,

as I turn to exit -
the mirror calls back
"Wait don't leave!"
but with a snub
I walk away,

I turn the handle
brush myself down -
faces stare as
I open the door,

mindless thoughts
flash in my mind,
what is this - can
they see my faults?

like a proud peacock
I saunter through
the bar -
never minding
mock smans -
best to ignore,

but what is this?
friends laugh
and giggle -
concealed secrets
at my expense,
such fondness
I felt betrayed,

a tap on my shoulder
I turned to peer -
still my audience
sman and sneer,

suddenly pointing
down at my rear -
with Shock Horror!
realising why
I'm the butt
of their joke,

a fragment of skirt
nowhere to be seen,
for trapped in
my knickers -
after convenience
I'd been.