Toast

I don't like to boast,
But I've just eaten
A huge piece of toast.

When it comes to eating toast,
I'll take on all comers:
I can eat the most.

At a wedding you're supposed to drink a toast.
How does that work?
I'd rather suck on a roast

boar, one I've never seen before,
one doesn't like to suck on one's friends,
although it's all the same in the ends

of the earth, where toast is plentiful
and sorrow absentiful,
but that's not what I came here to say,

not today of all days when I've just
done the very thing I must
and eaten a very large and crunchy and buttery

piece of toast.