Dinner 2

The scene was finally set. I'd tidied the entire house, packed away my Xbox and washed my sheets. I'd tried lighting candles, but they were scented ones that kept making me sneeze. At bang on seven thirty, the doorbell rang.

Susie looked amazing. Her blonde hair was down for the first time that I'd seen, lightly draping over her shoulders. She was wearing a blue dress that complimented her eyes and clung in all the correct places. She flashed a nervous smile and said hi.

'Hello,' I said, trying to sound suave, but sounding more foreign. I stood aside for her to come in and she delicately removed her tiny shoes. As she walked through to the livingroom, she looked up at the ceiling in awe, as people do when they're admiring somebody else's house. I don't know why people do that; the ceiling is one of the least interesting parts in most cases. I asked if she wanted a drink, and she nodded.

'White wine?'

'Ooh, yes please,' she said, as if I'd really made an effort.

In the kitchen, I admired the dazzling cleanness that I'd created for the first time in forever. I could have happily slurped wine off the surfaces, but instead poured out two glasses and returned to the livingroom. Susie was perched lightly on the sofa, back straight, hands on her knees, looking around as if everything in the room was too delicate to touch. She took the glass of wine and had a sip.

'What's for dinner?' she asked, placing her glass on a coaster.

'Curry,' I said. 'Home made.'

'Ooh!' she said again. This must just be her general impressed noise, I thought. 'Spicy?'

My heart sank a little. Some people hate spicy food! I hadn't considered this.

'A little,' I said. 'Is that ok?'

'I love spicy food!' she said, and my heart bobbed back up.

I smiled and popped back to the kitchen to begin preparations when the doorbell rang again, cementing me to the spot.

'No,' I thought to myself, 'he can't have, he's not that much of a dick.'

As I walked to the front door and took a deep breath, Susie emerged from the livingroom.

'Where's your bathroom?' she asked.

Perfect, I thought. If I direct her to the toilet then she'll see that it works perfectly and Matt's plan will be flawed. The doorbell rang again.

'Just through the kitchen,' I said.

She nodded and said, 'You better get that.'

I slowly opened the door, one eye closed, the other wincing, but it wasn't Matt on my doorstep. The sheer relief almost made me choke. Instead there was a thin, Asian man with a bright green polo shirt, neat hair and a pencil drawn moustache.

'Can I help?' I asked.

'Yes sir!' he said in a strange hybrid of Indian and Cockney accents. 'I have come to fix the toilet!' He practically shouted the word 'toilet'.

Susie emerged from the kitchen having not yet reached the bathroom.

'What's wrong with your toilet?' she asked.

'Nothing!' I said, still staring at the man at my door. 'It doesn't need to be fixed.'

'Yes sir!' he said again. 'Problem with the flush, innit. Landlord says so.'

'No, there's no problem with the flush,' I replied, starting to close the door.

'Are you sure?' Susie said.

'Yes! Good strong flush! Go try it!' I immediately regretted saying this.

'No sir!' the man said. 'Loose connection, could result in a big watery shitty explosion, you see. Here's a note from your landlord.'

He handed me a piece of paper, which read, in Matt's handwriting, 'This is Harry. He makes an awesome curry. I had a date tonight sorry.'

I nodded quickly. 'Yes, mmhmm, I see that,' I said, to try and act normal, 'but this is not a good time.'

'No don't worry!' Susie said. 'If it's a plumbing emergency, you should let him do it.'

'Exactly!' the man said. 'Emergency!'

'No, it'll be fine!' I said, getting irate with the pair of them.

Susie grabbed my arm and I turned to her. Her smile melted me and I became defenceless. 'Don't worry,' she said.

Balls.

I stepped aside as the man grinned and walked in with a toolbox; Matt's big blue rusty toolbox.