Tea For Two

‘Hello, sir. How are we today, sir? Shares are up three points already, sir, and it’s only just gone nine, sir.
Now, how are we in the chair today, sir? Let’s just put your feet on the stool, shall we, sir? That’s it.
Oh dear, sir, it does seem that your feet are a tad cold. I best fetch your favourite blanket, sir.
There we are, sir. That’s nice, isn’t it, sir?
Now, would you like tea or coffee, sir? How about a nice salmon sandwich, sir.
Oh dear, sir, the sun seems to be in your eyes, sir. Let me close the curtains a touch for you, sir.
There we are, sir. Now, how about that sandwich, sir? There’s some lovely tuna in the larder, sir, fresh from the river, sir. How about a nice tuna sandwich? And some tea? Or perhaps some coffee for sir.
Oh dear, sir. You do seem to be down in the dumps today, sir. Is it the cricket, sir? We’re bound to bounce back, sir. Still three days to go, sir. Perhaps sir would like to watch some television. How about Spongebob, sir? He’s a cheery soul, sir.
I know, sir! What say a bout of Blackadder? He’s sure to perk you up, sir.
There we are, sir.
Popping it in now, sir.
Let’s have a look at your cushions, sir. One needed for your head, I think, sir. There we are, sir.
My, my, sir you do seem to have caught a chill. Let me just, check your hand, sir. You won’t mind me doing that, will you, sir?
I think I best go and fetch the nurse, sir. Can’t be too sure, sir. Won’t be a jiffy, sir.

Sir’s dead, sir.

Oh dear, sir. We can’t be having that now, can we, sir.
What say I rustle up a nice fire, sir? Yes, that’s the ticket, sir. A good, old-fashioned fire to warm the bones, sir. That’s just what sir needs.
There we are, sir. It’ll be cracking away in no time, sir. Now, about that sandwich. I’ve taken a look at the tuna, sir, and it might need a while, so how about salmon, sir? Scottish, of course, your favourite, sir.
Nurse, do make yourself busy. Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something?

But sir’s dead, sir.

Don’t be so stupid, woman. Sir’s nothing of the sort. How on earth do you think sir would feel if he heard you? Quite disgraceful. Now be off with you.

But sir’s..

Off with you now!

There we are, sir. Blackadder Three. What could be better, sir?
Do you mind if I sit with you, sir?
I’ve never had the pleasure of sitting next to you, sir.
There we are, sir. Just the two of us now, sir.

Perhaps some tea, sir. What say I fetch a nice pot of tea, sir?
Won’t be long, sir.