Hansel and Gretel: The Real Gory Story

Hansel and Gretel- The real gory story

Have you heard the tale,
About a lovely little snail?
Well, this isn't the same story,
'Coz this one is a lot more gory!
The children you are about to meet,
Are anything but kind or sweet,
In fact you could say,
They got worse every day,
No wonder they were kicked out,
They always bellow, scream and shout,
You know that Little Red Riding Hood?
Well, they ended up in the same wood,
They dropped the crumbs, one by one,
So they knew where they'd gone,
In the middle of the wood,
There a candy house stood,
Chocolates, sweets, candy canes,
Decorating the window panes,
Chocolate doors, melting by the second,
Tasted rather good, it was reckoned,
There at the door stood a witch (green)
Who was anything but mean,
People misunderstand,
When they shake her bony hand,
A black cat meowed beside her,
It looked ready to do murder,
The witch's hat stood like a tower,
The kids began to shake and cower,
“Come in here,
Have some gingerbread my dears,”
Hansel waved his fist in the air,
He gave the witch quite a scare,
“Get out our way, you stupid witch,
Your a big fat ugly b****”
I'm sorry, that word is not allowed,
It makes a rather dirty sound,
But that was enough said,
“You stupid little brats are dead!”
The witch pulled a gun from her sock,
The children gasped in shock,
She shot through Hansel's head,
Gretel knew he was dead,
Brains spread on the floor,
In a puddle of blood and gore,
Gretel wondered what to do,
She had to get revenge too,
“Gretel saves the day!”
She knocked the witch's gun away,
The witch cackled, loud and clear,
“You don't stand a chance, my dear,”
The witch drew a sword from her sleeve,
Then with one last heave,
She plunged the sword though her heart,
But that was only the start,
“Why waste a good stew?
I might as well eat you!”
She put the kids in a pot,
They deserved what they got,
She ate the kids up, one by one,
Now those dirty rats are gone!
The witch and her cat had a feast,
And got rid of the little beasts!
Thank goodness, if it weren't for me,
You wouldn't know the true story,
The kids were the ones to blame,
Now the witch will get her fame,
Golly gosh! If it weren't for me,
You'd think this tale,
Was about a lovely little snail.