My Contraction Addiction

My addiction to contractions started out small. I’d write and then I’d check for corrections. And the spell checker would always suggest that I change my ways. Then I’d get an attitude. I simply didn’t like anything or anyone telling me what I should or shouldn’t do.

But then the addiction grew. I couldn’t seem to get through a sentence without slipping in a where’d you come from or a wouldn’t you know it.

It got so I’d believed there’d come a time when the muse would slip in straighten me out - again.

No such luck. Me and the muse had a misunderstanding. When last we talked, she tried to correct me and had thought I’d called her a whore. I hadn’t. All I said was ‘who’re you talking to?’ Now she’s nowhere to be found and I’m stuck with my dependency on contractions.

Aren’t I lucky, though, that I’m not addicted to the run on sentence and go on and on about something that I’m aware of and, yet, I keep doing to the point of irritating the poor hapless reader who is reading this and wondering when, or if, it will ever end, and I haven’t the heart to tell this faceless reader that if I knew I would tell them, but I haven’t quite collected my thoughts to the point where’d I’d actually have one. A point, that is.

I take my contractions with me wherever I go. Let me introduce you to my little friends.

Fellows say hello to the nice people. They’ve seen a lot of you, but were never formally introduced.

aren't, can't , couldn't, didn't, doesn't, don't, hadn't, hasn't, haven't, he'd, he'll, he's, I'd, I'll, I'm, I've, isn't, mightn’t, mustn't, shan't, she'd, she'll, she's, shouldn't, that's, there's, they'd, they'll, they're, they've, we'd, we're, we've, weren't, what'll, what're, what's, what've, where's, who's, who'll, Let's, who're, who's, who've, won't, wouldn't, you'd, you'll, you're, you've

Hey! You! Let's! Get back in line with Isn't where you belong. Leave the Who’re alone.

Sometimes you’ve got to keep your contractions in line.