Nick the Knight

Nick the noble knight
Was due to go to a fight
But his knickers were pinching
Up they were inching
‘Well,’ he thought, ‘this isn’t right’

He decided they most go
But as some of you may know
Armour’s quite shiny
But on a bare hiney
It’s going to cause some woe

So Nick took off his knickers
His steed’s ears gave a flicker
His men looked askance
At him with no pants
He said ‘About this, we won’t bicker’

The amour fit tight
And it’s not very light
On his boy bits
It was a snug fit
It certainly didn’t feel right

The armour was cold
But our knight was bold
So when the word was sent
Off to battle he went
And the rest of the story unfolds

Being brave knight
He rode out to the fight
There a lady quite fair
With long flowing hair
Had him in her sights

It was going quite well
Well, until he fell
His armour displaced
He had a red face
As he roared ‘bloody hell’

His page thought what a disaster
To see my master
Laying there bare
With no underwear
Then there came the laughter

It started as a snicker
But then it got quicker
Then the lady so sweet
Got to her feet
And he began to look sicker

She said I’m quiet impressed
With your state of undress
The sight of your lance
And you with no pants
Doesn’t put me in distress

The knight proudly stood
And lifted his hood
He gave her a wink
She turned quite pink
And invited him to the woods

There was heard lusty sighs
And good manly cries
Fair lady was won
The deed was done
And now in his arms she lies

So our noble knight
Goes again to a fight
His new claim to fame
Is his infamous name
He’s known as Knickerless Knight, right?