Love upon a breeze

Very sweet, very interesting. This is a very eloquent sounding piece, and very elegant. Good job, I hope to see more in the future.

Hi Hellbound, there is a lot here to like as Aero has said. The sentiment is clear and unmistakeable to the reader, well done. Just a couple of thoughts if I may? Capitalise the "i" in the fourth line. I can see that you have chosen not to use any punctuation. This always creates some contention - if you stick with this unpunctuated version I recommend that you revisit the line structure in order that the piece scans well. At the very least redraft in sentence case. Finally I was a little distracted by the transition between "thy" (which literally means 'your') and "I" ( but then again I have a tiny brain!). If there is intention or purpose to this then it's fine, but at the moment it seems to be a little slip of the pen. Overall a very good first post, thanks for sharing.