The Goggles

“Get a pair of The Other You Goggles!” cried the man. ”Get The Other You Goggles and see what you ‘ve been missing!”

“The Other You Goggles?” said Wendell. “What do they do?”

Wendell Jones was attending the tenth annual Inventor‘s Convention in Aurora, New York.

The man Wendell was talking to, Ned Weller -- inventor of The Other You Goggles -- was seated at a table in his booth, waiting for his first order.

“For a measly hundred bucks,” said Ned, “you put these goggles on and experience the world as your inner-self would have. The one you keep locked up inside. You put these goggles on and you’ll be the man you always wanted to be, but aren’t.”

“What if I’m happy with the person I am?” said Wendell.

“Then we wouldn’t be having this conversation," said the inventor.

Wendell paused for a moment, then tapped his fingers on the table.

“Have a seat, sir,” said the inventor. “And for five dollars, I’ll give you a brief demonstration.”

Wendell hesitated, then reached into his pants pocket and pulled out the contents: four singles, a moist toilette packet, and a free coffee voucher from McDonald’s.

“Hold on,” said Wendell. “I think I have some change in my jacket.”

Reaching into a side pocket of his sport coat, Wendell pulled out a handful of dimes.

Counting out ten dimes, he placed them on top of the four singles and gave the inventor a quirky smile.

“All right, then,” said the inventor. “Just put these goggles on and press the little button on the side, and you’ll be off on your journey. A brief journey, mind you, but you’ll get the idea.”

Wendell put the goggles on and pressed the button.

“Could you sign it,” said the girl on the other side of the table, “To Jennifer, my most devoted reader?”

“With pleasure,”said Wendell.

“I’ve read all your books, Mr. Jones,” said Jennifer. “But The Adventures of the Man in the Other You Goggles is my favorite.”

“I’m glad you liked it,” said Wendell. “It’s my favorite, as well."

The line of people waiting to have their books signed stretched out of the Aurora Book Store and wrapped its way around two corners.

“Times up,” said the inventor, quickly snatching the glasses back. “So, what do you think?”

“I think I need to find me a hundred dollars,” said Wendell. “That was fantastic!”

”I thought you‘d be impressed,” said the inventor.

“You see,” said Wendell, “it seems I was this famous author and--”

“Tut, tut, sir,” said the inventor. “I don’t want to know the details. It might influence who I sell the goggle’s to. I’m in it for the money. And nothing more.”

“I’ll be right back!” said Wendell. “Just give me a couple of hours!”

“Certainly, sir,” said the inventor. “But I’m only here until five.”

“I’ll make it back in time,” said Wendell. “But please hold me a pair of those glasses!”

“Will do,” said the inventor. “Will do."

Wendell Jones dropped his last token into the meter and took a seat in the rear of the bus.

I must have something at the apartment that’s worth a hundred dollars, thought Wendell.

As he lifted his head he noticed a young girl across the aisle, reading and laughing at the same time.

“Must be a pretty good book,” said Wendell.

“It is,” said the girl. “It’s The Adventures of the Man in The Other You Goggles. It’s my all time favorite! This is my third read.”

Wendell sat silent for a moment.

“That’s odd,” said Wendell.

”What‘s odd?” said the girl.

”Nothing,” said Wendell. ”Who‘s the author?”

”Wendell Jones,” said the girl.

”That‘s impossible!” said Wendell. ”I‘m Wendell Jones!”

“No you’re not, silly,” said the girl. “His pictures right here on the back of the book. See?"

Wendell leaned forward to get a better look.

“He’s no author!” said Wendell. “That’s Ned Weller, the inventor! He just stole my damn inner-self life!”

“I wouldn’t know about that," she said. “The book is about an inventor, though. It’s the story of a man who invents a pair of goggles that lets people experience life through the eyes of their inner-selves.

“The book starts off with the inventor letting a potential customer take a brief look through the goggles. But what the customer doesn’t know is that the inventor never turned the goggles off after the brief demonstration. So, while the customer goes home to scrounge up some money to buy the goggles, the inventor puts the customer’s goggles on, likes what he sees, and decides to live the customer’s inner-self life.

”You see," continued the girl, “the inventor had already taken a peak at his own inner-self, but when he first put his own goggles on and felt the suffocating presence of all those clowns in that tiny clown car, he decided the circus life wasn‘t for him after all. Pretty funny, huh?“

“Oh, it’s hilarious!” said Wendell. “So what happens to the customer?”

“That’s the funniest part,” said the girl. “On his bus ride home to get money to buy the goggles, he observes a girl reading the book he had written in his inner-self life. And she tells him all about the book. So the customer realizes what the inventor had done, and he hops off the bus at the next stop and is run over at the next corner by a clown car on its way to the circus.”

***

When the wannabe science fiction writer, Adam Larkin, woke from his bad dream, he sat down at the computer and wrote:

“Get a pair of The Other You Goggles!” cried Wendell Jones. ”Get The Other You Goggles and see what you ‘ve been missing!”

“No one’s gonna make a fool out of me!" he said to himself. "No one!"

He would also spend much of the night practicing his autograph.