Peter Flaccid And His Non-Stop Erection (bedtime stories for the child inside)

Peter Flaccid And His Non-Stop Erection

Ok boys and girls, lying comfortably ? Then we’ll begin.

Peter Flaccid was no ordinary bat.

We should start his story from the moment his whole life changed.
Before that moment, he was indeed, an ordinary bat, doing ordinary
bat things, (flying, skipping, water polo) all the usual bat past times.

It was whilst he was flying home one night, that he came across the
cause of his glandular doom. She was only petite, but she had the
presence of a mighty Goddess.

Her wings were like the softest leather, her body supple yet hard in
all the right places. Their love, yet only brief, was like a whirlwind
of passion. Entwined in a lovers embrace amongst the trees.

That was when she’d bitten him.

You see, unlike Peter at this point, she was definitely not like any
other bat.

She was a nymphomaniac, vampire bat.

From that day, as the tainted vampire’s blood coursed through his
veins. He has never lost his erection. She told him, before leaving
in a puff of smoke, that, the only way for him to stay alive, was to
drink the blood of innocent, winged creatures. If he refused to do
this, his member would cease to be. As would he.

So! That was Peter’s plight. Kill to stay alive. Or, refuse and die.

He chose life.

For many years, he flew from land to land, dispensing with the
unsuspecting birds, butterflies, fairies and the such. Anything
with a wing, was fair game to him.

Until the day he fell in love.

Ursula was also a bat, and from the first time that he caught
sight of her in flight, he knew that she was the one for him.
She too, felt the same way. The only problem that they had
with the relationship was, they couldn’t make love, as Peter’s
private’s had become so engorged, that, intercourse was not
possible. They knew that they had to try to find a cure for his
condition.

But where?

They asked around and was told the legend of a ‘high priestess’
of the fairies, deep in the woods.

They set off to find her.

She did indeed live deep inside the enchanted woodland, and
upon reaching her, they found her most forthcoming with an
answer to their tale of woe.

Peter spoke first. ‘Old crone. Please won’t you help us in our
quest for love.’

The priestess flitted around them, pausing suddenly. ‘What is
it that ails you so, my dear?’

Peter’s ‘semi’ thumped onto her desktop. ‘This, o-wise-one.
Even though it’s going down, due to lack of blood, it still won’t
fit. But, if I leave it much longer, I’ll die, along with it, due to a
vampire’s curse.’

The fairy took pity on them, and flying over to her pot of magic
potion, added a few new ingredients. ‘Fang of tiger, ball of ant,
anus of muskrat, eye of a whippet.’

With that, she stirred vigorously. Nothing happened. ‘I know
what is missing, silly me.’

Peter and Ursula looked unsure.

The fairy opened a jar under her desk, took something out,
Then placed it into the pot, saying. ‘The chin whisker from
a hirsute nun.’

The contents of the pot blew out in a cloud of steam. The
priestess lowered her head right into the centre of it.

Breathing deeply she said. ‘I now know what you must do
to cure your affliction.’

The pair looked on, listening intently.

The crone spoke as if in a dream-state. ‘At the far edge of
these woods, is a werewolves lair. You must enter, but make
certain that you do not wake him just yet.’

She edged closer to them. ‘You must creep, silently, level
with his sleeping face. Then, just before you do it, you must
shout. ‘The high priestess says, take that you hairy bastard’,
Do you understand ?’

Peter looked confused. ‘You said, just before I do it. But
You haven’t told me what it is that I have to do.’

She laughed. ‘Oh! Silly me. You have to stick your penis
up his right nostril. That should do the trick.’

Still unsure, but willing to try anything, the couple left for
the werewolves den.

They soon found it and went inside.

The resulting massacre of, Pete and his meat, shocked his
would-be-wife. She flew back to the fairy’s home at once.

She flew in without knocking. ‘You said it would all be
all right. But, the bloody thing woke up, saw how Peter
was nasally violating him. Then ate him all up.’

The fairy couldn’t hold back her laughter. ‘I thought that
would happen.’

She saw the expression on Ursula’s face. ‘Look. I heard
bad things about your husband-to-be. He had a bit on the
side. A sheep by the name of Bessie, down on the farm
at the end of the track. She was the only one that could
accommodate him, apparently.’

Ursula looked heart broken.

The fairy put her arm around the bat, consoling her. ‘I
know it seemed harsh. But, I knew you deserved better.
In fact, I wouldn’t mind a crack at you myself.’

The two engaged lips, staring into each-others eyes,
longingly.

The moral of this story is. ‘Don’t stick it where it
shouldn’t go.’

If you were interested.

The ladies became the first inter-species lesbian
couple of the land. All was well.

That was. Until.

Big Tom Stroker, ‘the fairy poker,’ came into town.