Would you do this?

25 posts / 0 new

Thu, 2012-10-18 14:28

Would you do this?

Sorry for the long post.

On occasion I take to the forums and moan about my job. I'm sure some of you have seen my whining. I have just written, printed and signed my letter of resignation. I have nothing else to go to, but the idea is to pressure myself so that in the month before I leave this job, I will get another.

I can barely take the day to day job anymore. I'm not sleeping well for stress, and I'm about to embark on some drugs counselling starting next Thursday in order to address long term depression and to stop smoking cannabis - something I've done every day for 10 years. Sometimes I think if I'd moved onto the harder stuff earlier the situation might have come to a head a long time ago, and I'd be ok now. I've just turned 27 and it feels like time is running out to forge a career in something I'm passionate about.

Anyway, the long and short of it is I have this letter, and in the next couple of hours I plan to decide whether to hand it in or throw it away.

Would you hand it in or chuck it?

Thu, 2012-10-18 14:39

scratch

That's a tough one because I don't have the details of your responsibilities or personal circumstances. But if you want an uninformed knee jerk reaction I would put the letter in the post and bollocks to the stress of a shit stress-making insomniac inducing 'job'.

Thu, 2012-10-18 14:41

scratch

Your only 27 al your best years still lie ahead of you.

Thu, 2012-10-18 14:44

lenchenelf

Though your job distresses you, you know to hand your resignation in is akin to the snapping of a pencil in the grand scheme of things that get on your wick right now. You feel it would pressure you to move on, are you that sure of your motives? Be mindful, it is easier to find alternative employment if you're in employment. Whatever you decide, best wishes.

Thu, 2012-10-18 14:53

ItsSteveDave

Cheers scratch, I know 27 is young, but at the same time I'm fed up of not doing something enjoyable. I want to get up in the morning with enthusiasm. I live in a fairly cheap rental house split between three people. I haven't long moved in, but I've got some savings if I can't get a job in the timeframe I've allowed myself. I also have a possible opportunity to get a job in China with a friend of mine teaching English, but my confidence is very low, so hopefully this counselling lark will help get me up for the challenge of something like that, because I know what an amazing, life-changing opportunity it could be.

Thu, 2012-10-18 14:59

ItsSteveDave

Thanks lenchenelf, I know what you mean. It's certainly something I've considered - whether I'm thinking straight, whether I'd be too far in the hole to motivate myself to get a job, or maybe I'd struggle to find one, if I left this.

Thu, 2012-10-18 15:02

fatboy74

What ties do you have steve? Do you have any dependents? If it's just you, jack it in, do a tefl go and teach in Italy or China - this job is making you extremely unhappy, do some labouring, do a job that has no responsibility, move town if your somewhere expensive, you are still young - become a woodsman, make stained glass. I know i'm simplifying and it's not as easy as that - my twenties were pretty rough, when I was 28 I trained to be a teacher, I'd spent 6 years worrying about what I was going to do, 10 years later I mostly enjoy it and the holidays are great. Don't waste any more time on a job that is making you ill Steve. Get a job that will give you enough to get by without the stress, do some classes maybe, learn some new stuff. I'm sure you've considered all this, but sometimes you just got to do it - the stress won't just disappear, finding/starting a job etc, travelling, re-training - but these are exciting stresses and have to be better for you than what you're going through now. atb whatever you do mate.

Thu, 2012-10-18 15:04

fatboy74

I posted that before I read your china comment Steve - very strange. :-)

Thu, 2012-10-18 15:11

ItsSteveDave

Ha, brilliant Fatboy, great timing! Your twenties sound just like mine. I worry about not meeting my/others' expectations, which has paralysed me from doing anything, and now it's all coming to a head. I'd be happy doing labour or something simple. I have precisely 7002 responsibilities and more are added every day. I am the victim of being someone who wants to help people in an environment where everybody else wants to help themselves. Boss is making a cuppa then it's off to the meeting room...

Thu, 2012-10-18 15:11

#10

alex_tomlin

It can be easier to find a new job if you already have one but when I was stuck in a soul-destroying job a few years ago I found looking for a job while feeling terrible too hard. However one day they pushed me too far and I quit in a huff. I felt much better for doing it and then took on a few different temporary jobs before landing one that really suited me and in which I have thrived. One major difference is that more work was available then than now. I was 30 when I did that and even now, six years later I'm hoping to change career at least once before I retire. Whenever that is. 27 is still young unless the career you're passionate about is being a professional footballer or gymnanst.

Thu, 2012-10-18 15:23

#11

Sooz006

Everybody seems to be saying jump .. do it. do it now while you're still young. And maybe you should. Life's too short to be stuck for a third of it doing something that you hate and is making you ill. But I've been looking for a better job since January. 222 applicants for the last one and these days, that's low. I'm desperately looking for a job that will give me enough income to rent a place of my own. Nothing doing. But I am not young. What's the worst that can happen? Sometimes we have to jump to move on.

Thu, 2012-10-18 15:26

#12

scratch

Correct Sooz. It seems like there is a consensus developing here ISD.

Thu, 2012-10-18 15:40

#13

ItsSteveDave

Guys, I have jumped. It will be the 23rd of November when I hit the ground, and hopefully on this slow motion fall I can sort of contort my body so I land somewhere nice...

Thu, 2012-10-18 15:43

#14

scratch

Good for you ISD. I wish you all the best mate.

Thu, 2012-10-18 15:55

#15

ItsSteveDave

Also, this isn't a spontaneous decision. Well, perhaps I wasn't planning on doing it today, but it has been given lots of consideration. Thanks for your support boys and girls. :) Time for a few months of tireless positivity to get my life back on track.

Thu, 2012-10-18 19:14

#16

Highhat

You'll have the time of your life ISD...Good on you- time to move on..

Thu, 2012-10-18 20:06

#17

Parson Thru

Good luck! May you bounce as happily as I did. ;-) Loadsa time at 27. I was 2 years older. Just remember to pick yourself up by the scruff of the neck now and again and direct yourself towards the life that you want - not what someone else wants of you. Bon voyage!

Parson Thru

Thu, 2012-10-18 20:08

#18

ScoZen

Hello there ISD I'm not the best person to give career advice, but, no need to go to China, may I suggest you take yourself down to Dartmoor and visit your "uncle who lives alone". A few days away drystone walling will clear the mind for a rethink. Regards.

ScoZen

Thu, 2012-10-18 21:55

#19

thanksforthepar...

Hi Stevedave, Wow you've done it! I really empathised with your situation; I faced a similar thing re the smoking and counselling/self esteem stuff at around 25. I do think you've done the 'right' thing by sending THAT letter :) but I would just also say, be prepared for change to come slowly and be patient and gentle with yourself when it comes to your head and heart; I found that lasting change is a slow burner...look after yourself and look for really good friends; times of transition and upheaval can be surprisingly wearing. Oh yeah, and laugh as much and as often as possible; that and writing have kept me just about sane.

Fri, 2012-10-19 00:05

#20

blighters rock

South Africa's just coming into spring now and the rand's at 14 to the quid. Decent backpacker hotels are a fiver a night and the pot's cheap as chips. I love your honesty explaining your indecision about whether to have gone on to harder stuff but believe me you haven't missed a thing. It's kind of a waiting game, though, isn't it? Dependence on chemicals, be they smack or dope, is chemical dependency, which adds up to addiction. Your admission that you've smoked dope daily for ten years is one that I had to battle with almost all my adult life and it was only by giving it up that I started to see and feel life as it really is, so I'd encourage you to go well easy on the dope and just have a ball somewhere that beauty is around every corner. If you find yourself going heavy on the booze to compensate the inbuilt need for dope, just go back to spliffing because booze is far more dangerous. If you're like me, there's always been that niggling feeling that I'd have to do something about it sooner or later. You don't have to go to the hideous depths I endured to get help, mate, and there's plenty of it if/when that time comes. You're young and adventurous so please just leave this depressing country, spend your hard earnt cash and see the world for as long as you can blag it. It's pretty easy to find work if you're prepared to work for peanuts but you'll have a fine time that you'll never forget. You'll regret it if you don't. Now scram.

Fri, 2012-10-19 10:16

#21

shoe

Hi Steve, I wish you well for the changes you want, go easy on yourself and don't take on too much all at once, Marion is right, real changes come slowly but they will come, It's happening right now and whatever you do, it will be an adventure...:}

Fri, 2012-10-19 10:32

#22

ItsSteveDave

Thanks everyone. Just really great advice all round - I can certainly see that the world is full of opportunity for me at the moment, I just need a little help getting back on track, which is where the counselling comes in, but really I know that I just need to work up the confidence/non-dependancy to do one thing, whether that be travelling or something else, and that will be the foothold for me to haul myself out of this crap. I'm under no illusions that it will be a long road. I've spent a long time smoking weed any chance I get. That includes rushing outside whenever my parents left the house and having a quick toke, smoking in laybys and driving home, and similar acts of low self esteem and lack of consideration for others, not to mention one of my best mates getting psychosis 4 years ago (still can't hold a conversation today). I certainly wouldn't say it has become a religion to me, but I am certainly addicted to the expansive level of thought that comes with it. I don't know how my mind will adjust when it finds out that living in your head and micro-analysing everything in life isn't what it's all about, so I'll take it slow. You might be interested to know that I've grown up in the town voted 'best for raising children in Britain'; http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/wonderful-wokingham-th... Well, technically number two, but the two places join onto each other. The amount of drugs being taken by the kids here is unreal, and if this is the best place in the UK, other places must be f**ked into a tin hat. Anyway, I may pop another post up when I know what I'm doing with myself, though I'm conscious this isn't a 12 step meeting! Nonetheless, you people are stars. Thank you :)

Fri, 2012-10-19 11:36

#23

Highhat

You know ISD- it's fantastic to read your comments. Now you are looking up and it's great to know you can use the advice/ comments from others here- but I know you made your own decision and that is a giant step forward for you. I wish you all the best as well. Just grab life at the root and you'll be okay.

Fri, 2012-10-19 14:30

#24

karl_wiggins

Steve, go to China man. Grab the opportunity! Whatever happens you can only grow through the life experience, and it will also give you something to write about. Go for it. As far as quitting your job immediately just bear one thing in mind. In the current climate headhunters are looking for people who are already working and for the most part are not interested in people who are unemployed. The reason; because they figure if you're still in work in a recession there's a reason for it. Warped thinking, I know, but just bear that in mind. Go to China. It might not work out and you may not regret it, but not half as much as you'll regret it if you don't.

Fri, 2012-10-19 14:31

#25

ashb

Hey ISD Good luck with this - was going to advise you to chuck it (the job that is, not the letter) then scrolled and saw you already have. Well done, a good step... It sounds like absolutely the right thing to do and I wish you well with it. And with your further adventures, wherever they lead you. Lane

ashb