Poignant ice tribute to Titanic victims (Belfast, 21/10/12)

By Rhiannonw

Thu, 15 Nov 2012
  • 2595 reads
11 comments
 

Pentathlon Current Affairs 'Fib' poem

Ice
men,
women
and children
sitting on the steps:
fifteen hundred and seventeen:
many watch the weeping, melting
Titanic tribute
disappear:
all gone,
no
more.

Two
weeks,
prepare;
in twenty
minutes all become
small pools of water like the tomb
(brief reminder, poignant, passing):
the ocean graveyard
of women,
children,
men,
boat.

Ice
to
water,
dust to dust;
sparkle for a span,
like human vigour, kindness, life:
voyagers they, travellers we,
opportunities
floating past,
fleeting,
drift
by.

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous
Other Non-fiction

Comments

Submitted by Highhat on
a great go at the fib Rhiannon and such a powerful poem. I enjoyed it. ;)Pia

Submitted by Rhiannonw on
Thank you, Pia. At the time I wondered what headline would really grab me as something I could write about, but when I came across this realised it was gripping me and worth the effort! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on
Thank you, too Bear. Yes, I found one verse difficult, but I think it was the subject, that once that was in my mind it became 3 stanzas suddenly, but 'polishing' what I could say, and how to say it best and get it to sound reasonably nice not awkward, took some time! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by moonphish on
beautifully constructed and touching....elegant....loved it :) -alvin

Submitted by Rhiannonw on
Thank you, Alvin, for your words. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I was wondering who wrote this, Rhiannon. As it so happens, it was one of my favourites in the Pentathlon...and still is. Hauntingly poignant. Tina

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on
Thank you, Tina. I was so glad when I noticed this news item, not only because it was so striking, but also as I felt it was something I could attempt to write about, and in a Fib format possibly! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

What a clever and effective poem this is. You reminded us all of the tragedy and give a bit of good advice as well.

 

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Jean. When we had the Pentathlon competition there were different challenges each week, and this week had to be in 'Fib' format, and using a current affairs headline of the week. Rhiannon (although we posted some of our efforts in the normal way, like this afterwards)

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

beautiful Rhiannon, I particularly like how you use the form to build images then melt them away. Not just clever but creating emotional impact as well. I particularly like the last stanza with its vital surge in the middle like a wave and then ebbing away

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Di! I enjoyed looking it up again, reminded by Luigi's interest in Japanese forms. Sometimes forms can dominate over any usefulness to content, but this seemed to work suprisingly! Rhiannon