I'm Dreaming of a White Easter

I’m dreaming of a white Easter,
Arctic winters have been cloned;
Icebergs line the river,
Brass monkeys shiver,
Global Warming is postponed.

I’m dreaming of a white Easter,
With every chocolate egg that’s sold.
Now the days are frosty and cold,
Still the Banker's eggs are made of gold.

I’m dreaming of a white Easter,
Just listen to the weatherman –
Central heating leaking,
The wind is shrieking,
It’s all a Coalition plan.

I’m dreaming of a white Easter,
The freeze is worse than Christmastide.
Though you may feel cruelly denied,
You just wait till we’re all crucified.