Constantinople

I like words and when I find one that I really like
I have to know what it means otherwise I start thinking bad things
and if I don’t find out what it means I hurt myself in the bathroom.

Daddy, how do you spell Constantinople?

The Conservatives are absolute vermin
They tore the guts out of this country.
I’d like to string them up and kick the crap out of them
excuse my French
and as for the Monarchy
they should all be lined up and shot too
the amount of trouble they’ve caused in the world.

Daddy’s been out drinking with his friends.
His face is always red but it doesn’t scare me anymore.
It’s surprising how easy it is to switch off if you put your mind to it.

Mummy, how do you spell Constantinople?

Did I ever tell you how pretty I was when I was a little girl?
I used to have long wavy blonde hair
and my friends used to call me Marilyn.
Do you know why they called me Marilyn, darling? Do you?
Because I looked just like Marilyn Monroe.
I met a lovely man when I was sixteen and we were madly in love
but he was killed in the war and then I met your father.
Would you like to see some photographs of me when I was your age?

Mummy’s always in the house with her gin and her cigarettes.
She used to walk me to school but she says I’m a big girl now.
I used to scream when she wouldn’t talk to me but I don’t anymore.

I just want to know how to spell Constantinople.
We used to have a dictionary and an atlas
but Mummy threw them out by mistake.

I’m going to have to go next door to see if they know.

Can you tell me how to spell Constantinople, please?

Mum! the boy at the door shouted,
How do you to spell Constantinople?

How the fuck should I know? Ask your father.

Dad, how do you spell Constantinople?

He went inside for a minute and then came back.
Sorry, my Dad’s asleep on the sofa.

I had to know so I pleaded with the boy to tell me
and he said
I think it’s C O N S T A N T I N O P L E
so I thanked him and went home.