Squandered

How much longer must we continue like this?
In the shadowlands of missed kisses
of near misses, turned corners just before impact
of breath held, pulse suspended
lives stalled at your command
in the frozen never never?

How am I to camouflage my days
in half truths and fake tan animation
of deceiving smiles, bright
above the bitter gall
of my inner disintegration
till I burst, gasping for life breath
shrivelled, deadened dolt
in the pain of your disdain
in my loneliness at your neglect?

When will you deliver
every promise of our journeying
every vow of your abiding
every hope of our flourishing
every embrace that redeems
all the stolen moments
the mindless, numberless
squandered days of winter, summer,
spring and fall of my discontent?

Look there, in the East
Do you not see?
It is the moon: pregnant, quickened
in the brightness of her own regalia
potent orb, spilling with sighs
of gawping lovers' dreams.
In this moment we are one
united in our lunatic gazing
even as we sit, you and i
separate and unspoken
half witted in our splendid isolation
scrabbling for crumbs
when we should feast.