Head Haulers

Setting: England, London Whitehall. courtyard Wednesday the 31^st of January 1649. Early in the morning with a bright cloudy sky.

 

Characters: BLAGART and BOIL

 

Costume: Dirty black and brown peasant attire.

 

Sound: light wind.

 

Camera: Track

START

 

(Both men are trudging away from the Whitehall building, conversing. BOIL is carrying a sack)

 

BLAGART: Thankless job head hauling really, everyone has a grand old time at the execution, but who gives a thought to the poor sods who have to go looking for the beheaded's noggin when it gets lost, eh?

 

BOIL: Not a soul in the land. It's the Executioner who gets all the attention:(he twirls around camply) the star of the show!

 

BLAGART: Yeah and he's got that mask going for him and all, birds love it apparently (exaggerated woman's voice) 'It gives him an air of such mystery!'.

 

BOIL:(Blows out) There's no mystery about him. Every Tom, Dick and Harry knows it was Richard Brandon from down the road!

 

BLAGART: Yeah but he's hardly about to admit it with all these Monarchists still hanging about, is he? (steps in dog poo, looks at grinning BOIL with a sour expression on his face). There's no business like show business.

 

BOIL: (Scoffing) Too right. (Suddenly getting an idea, he sticks his hand in the sack and produces the head of King Charles I and holds it up to face him and BLAGART) What do you think of our choice in profession then, Charlie boy? (He assumes very posh accent) “I am answerable to no one but god!” (He shrugs at BLAGART with amused grin, who turns his head away in revulsion)

 

BLAGART: Ah, leave it out mate.

 

(Screen flicks to black)

 

END