Sleeping at the Ends of Days

Cherry

By Bee

Mon, 04 Nov 2013
  • 6098 reads
22 comments
 

 

To fall asleep by daylight 

and wake after dusk feels ominous

 

but here I lie - head throbbing,

mucus bursting through my sinuses,

eyes swelled half shut, listening

to what goes for silence - a mingling

of ringing and thrumming -

electricity piercing my ears and goading

my heart to race with my brain,

 

while accross the way some lone fool

lights fireworks in a non-display of fut fut

fizzles that don't so much go up

as peter out and die into the next attempt,

but he's more likely to burn 

 

his hands than light the sky.

I imagine obedient kids

solomnly watching, hoping to go back in -

burnt out sparklers in disappointed hands,

 

while I lie here in the darkness, listening

to the intermittent static fizz, feeling

all this ominousness

as I wait for the end of the world.

 

 

 

Certificate 12
Poem
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Art of the Diver on

It would be so sad if the end of the world came about within a sneeze... and equally sad that Guy Fawkes has descended to an impotent fut fut fut... So sad... where's a good bang when it's needed? Liked this piece and its detached perspective... thanks for sharing Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Yes, that would be sad. A good bang ? Well that might do the trick...

Glad you liked the piece, Rob. 

Thanks for your cheering words.

Bee

Submitted by jolono on

So many good lines in this Bee.

"electricity piercing my ears and goading

my heart to race with my brain,"

 

"I imagine obedient kids

solomnly watching, hoping to go back in -

burnt out sparklers in disappointed hands,"

 

Really enjoyed this and wanted more of it...

 

 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi jolono. 

I'm pleased you picked those lines, and glad you enjoyed. I might think of adding to it at some point. 

Thank you for your encouraging words. 

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

The cherries were a lovely surprise - thank you !

Bee

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

A good piece, Bee. I particularly the assonance in the following lines:

".............................................listening

to what goes for silence - a mingling

of ringing and thrumming -

electricity piercing my ears and goading

my heart to race with my brain,"

Well done on the cherries.

Luigi

 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks for noticing the details, Luigi.

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Bear. 

What you say is true. The only thing that surprises me  - I didn't realize bears have to go to work. I kind of imagined them bumming about the forest, or else making porridge in a cottage like the ones in story books do.  I've learnt something here. Thank you.

Bee

Submitted by VeraClark on

Full of sharply posed observation and imagination, Bee.  There's something infinitely depressing about late afternoon sleeping. You can't see past the dark, somehow.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Vera.

Yes, it's very depressing and disconcerting to find yourself in sudden darkness. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks so. Thank you for reading and for your kind comments.

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

I hope you are feeling better? And able to enjoy a few better firework successes, rain permitting? Rh

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks, Rhiannon, that's so nice.

Bee

Submitted by scratch on

That's a damn good poem.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks, scratch - that's so nice.

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Lost for words, Bee.  Wonderful poem.

Tina

 

Submitted by Bee on

What you said has made me feel happy. Thank you, Tina.

Bee

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hello Bee...you captured the feelings of being unwell, sleeping and missing the daylight. Great poem and  I hope you are feeling better now.  Jenny.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks so much, Jenny.

Bee

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Strange, atmospheric, good         Elsie

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you, Elsie. 

Bee

Submitted by jeand on

Hi

I like the way you take the excitement of fireworks and turn it into a sort of punishment that you are forced to endure, due to your illness. No matter how thrilling, you would not be thrilled.

Again, beautiful use of words, and phrasing, and alliteration and all that sort of thing.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Jean.

I guess nothing excites you when you are not well. I'm glad you liked this. Thank you very much for your kind comments.

Bee