The Colour Brown

By PoeticalJustice

Mon, 02 Jun 2014
  • 1250 reads
4 comments
 

Tears are streaming down my face,

The reason being, I can't place.

My body feels limp and my smiles become a frown,

If I could compare this emotion to a colour, it would be brown.

A mixture of the main palette,

I need to get these words out, as my mind can no longer hack it.

I feel like a savage,

Ruining everything that's good,

But if I could have a more optimistic outlook, believe me, I would!

Certificate U
Poem
Feelings
Spiritual
Unclassified
Other Non-fiction
Opinion
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Poetica.

I like this poem because although it is an outpouring of emotion, which is a good thing, and something I have often found to be very helpful, you have taken the time and trouble to think carefully about the structure and rhyme, which for me, in no way detracts from the subject. Also, although there is sadness and anguish, at the end, I detect a glimmer of hope in the last line. I do believe you, and that makes me feel optimistic on your behalf. 

I really liked the down-to-earth way this is written. I've been in that place myself, and I agree that down is 'brown'. But today, you should feel pleased with yourself - you've made a great poem. 

Liked it.

 

Bee

Submitted by PoeticalJustice on

Wow, Bee! Thank you so much. I'm still getting used to people reading my poetry, it's something I have always kept to myself, a diary of sorts if you will. People actually taking the time to read something I have written is an amazing feeling. Your feedback is greatly appreciated and it made me smile reading it. Thank you! :)

Submitted by scratch on

Hang in there.

 

Submitted by PoeticalJustice on

Thank you Scratch! :)