The Naming of Plants

By Silver Spun Sand

Thu, 05 Jun 2014
  • 4871 reads
10 comments
 
We should all think ourselves lucky, 
they said, when they gave us each
our very own plot in the garden 
at big-school; 
 
the brainchild, I might add,
of my most unfavourite mistress,
Miss Jones – the one with glasses
ever pinched the end of her nose.
 
She’d be the judge, and the jury, 
she said, and at the end of the term,
there might be prizes for the best,
and the winner – even certified!
 
So, straight away, David Daniels
got stuck in to his turnips and tansy,
his parsnips, and pelargoniums,
while Sylvia Samuels sowed prissy
annuals, such as sweet-peas
and marigolds, rosemary and stocks. 
 
Enough to bore the socks right off
the birds and the bees!
 
Whereas, more exotic, was me;
the flora and fauna I chose to grow
came from far away; foreign climes –
 
like Amaryllis and African Moon, 
African Tulips, Alpine Asters, French 
Fritillaries, and my piece de resistance
a rose called Captain Bligh, of mutiny 
on the Bounty fame.
 
So, imagine my surprise...gobsmacked, 
I was, when they gave me lines, had
me write, a hundred times over, flowers
are a gift from god and it was wrong of me
to name my colossal clump of Stink Horn
after Miss Jocelyn Four-Eyes-Jones.
Certificate PG
Poem
Silver Spun Sand Poems
Nature

Comments

Submitted by adld on

Really enjoyed this - very funny

adld

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks, adld...pleased you enjoyed.  

And speaking of those plants, we have a whole host of them which thrust through in our front garden every year, and boy do they pong!!  Stink Horn is an apt name, amongst others, of coursesmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by Bee on

So funny and very wordily playful with lots of fun rhymes and alliteration. The end made me laugh out loud. Really well done!

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks for noticing all those bits and bobs, Bee.  It's very satisfying and I'm so pleased you enjoyed the end result, and took the time and trouble to tell me.smiley

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Tina

I liked this very much, and enjoyed the ending too. One of my friends gave her 6 year old grandson a frame for making a garden bed, complete with seeds and soil for his birthday. And I think he was actually pleased.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Hi there, Jean.  Thanks for reading.

That sounds like a lovely present.  Teaching kids that food, etc. actually derives from the land, rather than the supermarket shelves has to be a very good thingsmiley

Pleased you enjoyed.

Tina

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

This is fun, Tina!  I believe the patch bit in a good way, my daughter designed an ornamental bed in Exmouth's Manor Gardens in year 5, the children in all the primary schools give the teacher their designs and a gardening chief decides. Nice naughty end          Elsie

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

That sounds like an excellent project for your daughter to have been involved in, elsie.

Pleased you enjoyed my little bit of funsmiley and many thanks for your lovely comment.

Tina

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Tina,

I think we all new a Miss Jones when we were at school.  We had a teacher called Miss Evans,  she was a spinster and always wore glasses hung from a chain,  they would sit on the end of her nose and she would look down when speaking to you.  She was very posh and dyed her fine hair a different colour every week,  sometimes it would be pink,  then blue or even yellow.  She would make us walk with books on our heads to teach us posture,  also taking us for tea and scones at a posh tea shop to teach us etiquette.  I hated it so much.

We never got to plant any flowers or have a bit of garden to create when I was at school,  but I think it would have been amazing and like your poem,  I could have probably created a garden dedicated to Miss Evans,  probably be filled with very posh flowers,  with strange sounding names from the tropics.

Really enjoyed reading.   wink 

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Jenny - I did so enjoy hearing all about your Miss Evans, and thank you, so much, for sharing.

So pleased you enjoyed my little ditty, and if you had planted that garden, I would have loved to have seen itsmiley

Tina