Exit-Stratagitits (IP)

Exit-Stratagitits

‘…tell me Mike, how  are you managing since we last met?’

‘To be honest, I’m not  coping at all.  Everything is just so overwhelming.   The visualisation  techniques  you  suggested   aren’t working, my  brain melts  down  when I have to make  a decision…

‘Can you give me an example?’

‘Well, on Thursday I went to the new shopping centre on Lake Hill.  I took a left left instead of a right as indicated and ended up on the exit route. That’s  when I freaked out and started to reverse backwards’

‘What happened next?’

‘I crashed into a bollard, flattened a floral display then…I…’

‘Just relax Mike, I can see this has been quite upsetting for you…we’ll have some time out.  Can I get you something to drink?’

                                            ——————————————

‘Exit Stratagitis or ExStrat is quite common Mike and  you’re not alone with this kind of problem and it does vary from person to person.     In fact, the Government’s Foreign Office dept have  considerable  difficulties with Exit  Strategy.  How do they extricate themselves from, let’s say, some of the Middle Eastern  countries  for  example?   Plus one in ten of the male population have  the  symptoms, and when they come across an  exit sign they all react in different ways.   Finding a strategy to navigate these hurdles take  up an enormous  amount of mental energy, it’s really quite draining as you know.  But, in your case Mike, you are making excellent progress, you have worked through many of the  issues that have held you back in the past.  Remember  the revolving door  you encountered ? You  were really  successful  in leaving that building and so pleased with the outcome!.  Tell me what you did again? 

‘For weeks I was getting myself all worked  up about a 2pm interview at the Tixe Plaza building. Will I get myself inside or what !

On the day I turned up early around 9.30am, you know, just to survey the place, I  walked round and round the block looking for obstacles.  I knew that at some point I would encounter an Exit sign and struggle with a coping strategy but as luck would have it the revolving door worked for me.

Way in, Way Out, no problem. I even spent the next ten minutes spinning in and out before security came along, but,I didn’t get the job though'

‘Great to hear that  again Mike, a  positive  outcome, but don’t get too hung up on not securing the job, it’s not a failure, OK!    Now,  remember  your  flight to New York?   Tell me what happened again and how  you coped with that emergency exit problem.

‘ OK,  I had your  self help  manual on exit strategies open at page three.  “Take Off Passenger Safety Procedure” etc, etc.

 I waited till she stretched out her arms to indicate the fuselage doors, I focused on her breasts, really concentrating like she was naked, that  technique worked a treat.  Then her  talk  about  the unlikely event of landing in water, when she demonstrated how to blow  into  a whistle and summon help.  Well…those lips around that whistle, I closed my eyes and imagined her …’

Excellent, excellent, Mike, you see  ExStrat-VTs can help.  You have to keep working  hard on the programme, it does, I promise, get easier.

Let’s go back to the beginning and tell me  again about  the time when you were first arrested?.

‘ I had started to deface the road signs in the village by painting over all the exit  signs and replacing them with,  Way Out,  Leave Here, I even drew a red hand on one saying Stop.   Later I moved onto motor way signs, managed to get a few done before I  was spotted on CCTV taking out  exit at Junction 29.   The upshot of it all was that I pleaded guilty, payed the  costs for damages under some obscure  Highway Act  1953, sec this, sec that, blah, blah, blah.   Three months Community service and  exit sign phobia counselling, the flash cards made me sick. Shortly after  I become  a recluse, never ventured out of the house day or night until someone told me about the new Lake Hill shopping centre…’

‘Listen to me Mike, this Lake Hill incident is a minor blip in your recovery programme and nothing to worry about, you’re doing great.

I’m so pleased with your progress that we should meet again in four weeks time, or call sooner if your not coping, OK’

Lastly Mike, I’m going to give you some choices about leaving  here today.

You can either abseil out of the window, take  the spiral staircase  or the...?