Self-Absorbed

By Rhiannonw

Sat, 19 Jul 2014
  • 2242 reads
8 comments
 

“If I could clear my mind, be free
of my concerns pertaining me,
I’d really like to stop and see
what all your suffering might be.

“Of course for you I’d like to care
if I could find I’ve time to spare
from thinking all about my own
complaints, and had my needed moan.

“In detail I to you can tell,
what’s happened to me, very well,
my memory is crystal clear
I’ll tell you all I’ve had to bear.

“I can’t be wrong, that isn’t me,
I can’t be wrong, it cannot be,
it must be you, or her, or him,
I feel you’re loading me with blame.  
        
“I do acknowledge if I find,
some fact I told is not quite right
but don’t you tell me, or it seems
as if you’re crushing, and I’ll fight.

“But now I’m feeling very old,
I need, I want, I must be told
just what to do, and where to go
I do not seem these things to know.

“I’ve had conflicting information –
he told me this, and you say that.
There isn’t any doubt, confusion,
I do know what I talk about.

“So never tell me I’ve forgotten,
misremembered what you say
never tell me I’m mistaken
or my thoughts have gone astray.”

This is not meant to come over as harsh, but an honest attempt to understand someone who is actually a very mild and pleasant person, as long as he is not contradicted, but also seems unable to show much concern or affection. Maybe it is a personality disorder, though combined with a short temper, and now exacerbated by dementia.

 

Certificate U
Poem
Families
Love

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

It is what it is, Rhiannon. Feelings well explored. I was interested at your differing rhymes that seem to fit really well here, with the changing moods and opinions of the subject. Hard to deal with, but there seems a great deal of understanding in your poem. 

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you for your comment, Bee, and I'm glad that it came over as thoughtful and understanding. As you say, hard to deal with, but I thought maybe sharing thoughts might help others finding frustration with self-absorption that isn't really exactly 'selfishness'. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

There is nothing more therapeutic than using writing to explore other people's puzzling behavior. This is considerately written. Sounds like an irritant of the highest level. wink

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Vera. Glad you felt it was considerately written, and yes, it does help to clarify and hone your thoughts in trying to understand someone to try to capture it in writing. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

'My needed moan' yes I have a friend of a friend who fits that phrase par excellence. And she's not bad-hearted simply more comfy with bad news than good, both in her own life and that of her circle of friends. I changed her identikit a little and used her as a character in a recent short story, Good character sketch, Rhiannon.                       Elsie

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Elsie. I'm glad you found it so. It does help to try to see where people are coming from, though frustrating if they don't seem to realise that they aren't helping themselves. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

I too could identify with acquaintances who thing the world revolves around them and their problems, and never seem to have a thought for anyone else. It's good that you could appreciate that it wasn't selfishness as much as a lack of the ability to relate to others (can't remember the right word). One of the symptoms of aspergers.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

thank you, Jean. My youngest son had Aspergher's, but as it was so much in the fore of 'discovery' when he was little, one of the things we did work hard on with him was to try to help him think about others. I was intrigued when his older brother was about 10, I said to him that  I knew his brother seemed to be being selfish, and we had to work on it with him, but that I thought that it was a sort of physical difficulty with him, and he, though only 10 agreed! Actually it became that the son who had  Asperghers (probably is was fairly mild) is now almost more thoughtful of others than his siblings as he has had to train himself  think about it, which is really good to see! Rhiannon