Fading

By Rhiannonw

Mon, 01 Sep 2014
  • 2686 reads
11 comments
 

He’d always had such agitation,
then dementia fanned frustration,
and fear of criticism, exploitation;
but now with all abilities decayed,
he seems no longer bitter, or afraid,
just pleased for nursing care, and those who take
an interest, time to share and show, and make
jokes, comforting and helping with no guile:
the tensions gone, sweet smile awhile.

Certificate U
Poem
Families
Love

Comments

Submitted by VeraClark on

The lightness of your rhyme contrasts with the sadness of adult deterioration, Rhiannon. Your title, too. 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Though it is sad to see deterioration physically, in this case it is so good to see a letting go of things that caused him confusion and exasperation, and the sweet smiles at relative physical comfort and a feeling of being looked after have been something really encouraging somehow, Vera. Thanks for your read and comment. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Rhiannon.

Your poem made he feel so sad because I've watched these different phases play out in loved ones before. And it made me feel glad for this peaceful acceptance of care that he is experiencing just now. The poem is sensitively written with love and understanding.

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Bee, I'm glad you could empathise with this. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by torscot on

A  poignant read this short piece Rhiannon

I only hope  "...those who take an interest, time to share..."  does  in fact take place.

And, I hope his house wasn't  taken to fund the nursing care.

Regards.

 

torscot

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Torscot. Yes, we have been really impressed with the friendliness, care and pleasure in trying to waken up interest sensitively by the staff. Good to know isn't it? And, as he and his wife have been living in an extension, no, they have not had to sell thier house for his care, just pay up his pensions basically I think! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

There is positivity in this gentle exit from life, the title is perfect.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you - is it Helen?! - I actually showed the later part of your 'treacle tart' piece to his wife, and she commented 'I think he (Jim) is a happier person than John, though', or something like that. So I have been glad to help her notice how much happier her own husband seems now. She cannot hear well, and doesn't notice slight smiles and expressions easily, but she is beginnning to learn to do so! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Yes, it is Helen!  I do hope his wife finds a happier state and manages to take pleasure in his presence.  If we could we would write happier lives for our loved ones.

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

I suppose that is the one redeaming thing about dementia, that the victim doesn't seem to realise that he is one.

I expect there is a story behind this poem. I thought it was very good.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Jean, I'm glad you thought so, and yes, there is a story.
It is interesting that he certainly blanked out any thought about his deterioration, and how it might develop, and occasionally got suddenly worked about the word, though they seem to tell people nowadays about what they are suffering from. As you say, maybe it is usual to be unaware really about it. Rhiannon