Escape me

Cherry

By Ama_G

Thu, 11 Sep 2014
  • 1675 reads
6 comments
 
he says he hates to kiss
but he loves to kiss me 
he says its cuz
i’ve learned to exhale 
love in the breaths that 
escape me 
 
he says he can’t  
escape me 
escape me 
i can’t escape me 
escape me 
 
I say his thoughts are melodies 
that regulate my heart’s beat 
he says that in the exchange of heat
in between sheets 
our kiss breathes life into him 
making all that is bitter, sweet 
and that he can’t escape me 
escape me
he won’t let me 
escape me 
 
Certificate PG
Poem
Poems
Romance
Love

Comments

Submitted by scratch on

I'd play out the first two lines of the third stanza a little more.  I think this is good.  Very well done.

 

Submitted by Ama_G on

Will do, thank you! 

 

Submitted by Dynamaso on

I really like the following - 'i’ve learned to exhale love in the breaths that escape me'. Very powerful and reminds me of what it can feel like in those first days of a new love. I also like the repetition of 'escape me'. It suits that desperate, grasping feeling perfectly.

 

Submitted by Bee on

The repetitions make this feel like a song to me. 

Like it.

Bee

Submitted by sid on

Love this! Nice for me to come back after a long absence and find you are on top form

 

Submitted by adld on

love this too - for me th repetition is somehow beautiful and uncomfortable at the same time

adld