iShop

iShop

never let it be said
drew don't do shops
'cos it's what i do best
my passion my hobby it's
what i live for
but i ain't going out there
to be pushed and shoved in
the back to be squished on tubes
have my toes trodden on
elbowed in the tit stand endlessly
in a queue going nowhere 'cos
of some dizzy cow on the till
don't know how it works

in true amazonian fashion
i'm doing my christmas shopping
heroically
in my p-j's and slippers
snugly under a blankie
clicking away at my lappy
picking pressies off the shelves @ amazon
dot co dot uk
stuffing goodies in my basket
then i'm off to cath kidston to get some
pretties then boots
for some smellies
then to the kitchen to get
a nice cup of tea

let them silly spenders
struggle home with
bags of shopping and aching arches
sneezing with colds or
maybe even the flu
i've got a firewall and anti
virus protection

it's a petri dish out there
christmas shopping is a red alert
biological warfare danger zone
and i've got to look after
my health so i can get
wasted at the parties