Looking back at … supporting a child with Asperger symptoms
By Rhiannonw
- 5047 reads
Vision and thoughts in precision-beamed focus,
peripheral matters ignored, little notice
to much of what else is occurring around.
Where did he put down his jacket or book? –
blank memories, and where may his school-bag be found?
Quite unaware of my feelings, or look
– happy? or cross? sadness, tears, or surprise?
blind to expression held in my eyes,
and facial appeals that I’m wordlessly sending, –
he isn’t observing them, uncomprehending.
Figurative language interpreted literally, –
intrigued when the meaning’s explained to him fully!
Frustrations flash,
and tensions snap,
words and actions rashly rush,
’til limp and quiet,
and ‘sorry for the worry’, th’explosive riot.
He’s trying to work on his spacial awareness;
physical goals, and skills, analysed, – progress,
learning to concentrate, track conversations,
– so many dizzying sound paths, – need patience,
keeping in mind what he wants to push in,
(but not just to lecture, and dominate), slide in
somehow among all the buzz, tangled threads.
Needing to nurture awareness of passage
of time, how to organise work, safely stash
keys, plastic cards, any documents, cash;
glance up at faces, and size up their message,
the moods that the features reveal and express:
growing in thoughtfulness,
– touching, astonishing.
Years later –
Sometimes remembering some detail of childhood,
things he had thought, or I’d not understood.
Into my memory come numerous occasions,
frequent frustrations, and many confusions,
– we both gain in hindsight,
appreciate more of each other’s past efforts,
the puzzlement, plight;
acknowledging things he’d concealed, –
pondering such hindering,
amusement when secrets confessed and revealed,
laughter and sympathy,
sharing, felt empathy,
forgiving, thanksgiving,
for failures and labours:
strengthened for struggles
and trust for the pathways ahead.
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Comments
This is a a beautifully
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Wow. Will come back to this
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I only got on to the rhyming
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Your title to this caught my
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This is a wonderful portrayal
This is a wonderful portrayal of Aspergers, I recognise so much of it in my beloved grandson. And we are already beginning to see the reactions you describe as the subject matures and gains in understanding. Thank you for pointing me to this.
Linda
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Rhiannon , the struggles of
Rhiannon , the struggles of both mother and son are well drawn here 'th' explosive riot' and also the rewards of perseverance.
'figurative language interpreted literally
intrigued when the meaning's explained to him fully!'
you and your son both have a skilled awareness of the wonder of words! Elsie
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Hi Rhiannon
Hi Rhiannon
This one I was really looking forward to reading - and I wasn't disappointed. You mention so many of the asperger traits, and the frustrations from both sides. My son now has a girlfirend who also has aspergers but not as severe as his - and she made me feel a lot better when she said that her mother often talked about how guilty she felt - at not knowing how to cope. And how we all just do the best we can with a very difficult situation for all.
Jean
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Thankyou for posting the link
Thankyou for posting the link to this. Like another post, I don't know what to say. I admire you very much. The last two lines are great, another beginning
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Yes, but not happily. Last
Yes, but not happily. Last week we let him off two days because the ferries were dodgy because of the storms and we were worried he might get stranded on the mainland. Then Friday he had a grotty cold and accidentaly on purpose missed the ferry because he felt he could not cope with such a long day while feeling ill. Could not be cross, though the school was. He said he could have coped with school but not the extra four hours? The trouble is he is happier there. It's such a relief he is not depressed all the time. He is enjoying lessons and is so much brighter, talking about stuff he has learned instead of everything being boring and pointless? One problem is he has accidentally given them the impression he is good at PE. Having spent every PE lesson of his life running away from any kind of ball (football, hockey, rounders etc), his first PE lesson at the new school was dodgeball. He stunned them by his athleticism in not once being hit, even if several people threw at once. Then another lesson he was put in goal. The best striker was taking a free kick, My son was trying to stay out of the way but everyone kept yelling to GET IN THE GOAL so he did and tripped over his feet and saved the goal :0)
I loved that one you wrote about your son becoming a Dad. How is everything going?
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Thankyou Rhiannon, yes,
Thankyou Rhiannon, yes, secondary school can be tough - I hated it so I want it to be better for him. It's so far away I've only been there the once to look round and his Dad probably will never go. But as we are very embarrassing parents that's probably just as well :0) I will get strict instructions about what to say/not to say/do at parents evening! Did you feel it important to let your son have days off sometimes if he was just TIRED? What did you say to the school?
I'm sorry to hear there are health issues - I hope they get better soon
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