The Fairy Town Audio tour

1. Introduction -

Ladies and gentlemen; boys and girls; elves and goblins and trolls, are you all seated comfortably? Then let us begin our magical tour of Fairytown.

Fairy town was built by the great high Boobah of the Fairies Whifflenorf Snosgood the Fourth and a half in the year Eleventeen hundred and Leventy. Legend has it that the road we are travelling on was actually a giant, jet black, scaly dragon named Groobah that threatened to eat Snosgoods people but that Snosgood turned the dragon into black licquorice and then rolled him flat with his wife’s rolling pin.

2. Mumbley Street –

The street we are now entering is called Mumbley street and it is here that the Fairy baker Blumbart Pumblechook first invented the fairycake by accidentally mixing up a pot of icing sugar and a pot of fairy dust. Of course, at first fairy cakes were only for fairies but then a knavish mortal named Brian O’ Brian stole the recipe for fairy cakes and started to make them and sell them to other mortals. Though Brian O’ Brian was eventually punished for his misdeed when Pumblechook, creeping into his into room one night, sprinkled fairy dust upon his feet and the next morning Brian O’ Brian woke up with the large, yellow webbed feet of a duck.

3. Wiggleworm Crescent-

This street is called Wiggleworm Crescent. It is where the famous magical duel took place between Wizelda the Witch and Grizzledorf, the Wizard  in Thirteen Thirbly Woo. It’s said that the duel lasted a whole 13 hours but that Grizzledorf finally won by turning Wizeldas wand back to front so that when she tried to turn his nose into a stick of rhubarb, it was her own nose that became long and purple instead.

4. Nogrog Street –

We’re now entering Nogrog street. Now, boys and girls, please do be careful looking out of the window because this is the street where the three ugly Gorgon sisters live; they have green snakes for hair and green eyes and even snakes for eyebrows too and they are so ugly that just looking at one of them can turn you into stone.

5. Toffeeapple Road-

Ah! Now this road is the road where the toffee apple was invented. A man selling apples was coming one way you see and a man selling toffees was coming the other way and they bumped into each other so the toffees and the apples went everywhere and they got into a terrible fight, such a terrible fight that the apple seller was about to punch the toffee seller in the nose but just at that moment, the good fairy Twirlinda came flying down the road and, to settle the argument, she waved her wand and all the apples and all the toffees came together and became toffee apples and the two men liked them so much that they forgot all about their argument.

6. Dragon Road -

We’re now entering Dragon Road where the Bus eating Dragon lives. Now, children, we must be quiet or the dragon might hear us and eat the bus and everyone on it.

7. Hobbleflop Street –

Ahh! Now this is the famous Hobbleflop road where a piece of the moon actually fell out of the sky one night. Fortunately it was made of glowing green cheese and all the mice had a gigantic feast of green cheese pie and chips although, because it was glowing green cheese, the mice all glowed in the dark afterwards.

8. Rumbly Hill –

The Road we are entering now is called Rumbly hill. It is here that a great roller skating race took place between Wizelda the witch and Grizzledorf the Wizard. Unfortunately, Wizelda cast a spell upon Grizzledorfs roller skates so that he couldn’t stop and, though he won the race, poor Grizzledorf ended up roller skating all the way to Australia where he was finally rescued by a family of Kangaroos.

9. Carrot Street –

The street we are now entering is Carrot street where the largest carrot in the whole world was found growing out of the ground but it was so hard to pull out of the ground that all the fairies had to pull on it together and when they finally pulled the carrot up there was a giant rabbit holding onto the other end so all the fairies had to run away with the rabbit chasing them.

10. Chumbleton Street –

Oh and this is Chumbleton street where a little girl called Lulubell jumped so high in the air that she never came down again, not for days; she bumped her head upon the sky and landed in a cloud and was carried off to sea. Fortunately, it started to rain and she fell with the raindrops landing on a pirate ship where she became Pirate Princess Lulubell.

11. The End –

Well, we’ve come to the end of our Fairy Town tour and all the fairies hope that you have enjoyed seeing their little town and want each of you to have a fairy wishing star to take home with you, the fairies picked them out of the sky last night just for you.

(A woman dressed as a fairy hands out stars to all the children to take home with them)