Before I Post Them

By Ray Schaufeld

Mon, 09 Mar 2015
  • 5604 reads
19 comments
 
You left behind your knickers and your vest
Returning from the station, here I see
Two memories of a loved one who has left.
 
In pink lace florals was your bottom dressed
From Top Shop, and your top layer bottle green
You left behind your knickers and your vest.
 
Behind lie pregnancy, Pampers and the rest.
You're now a big and capable twenty-three
On the First Great Western with those items left
 
Behind; which should be on behind and chest.
I miss you and to meet again I'm keen
But a jiff-bag gets your knickers and your vest.
 
Before I post I'll need your new address
But the undies need no laundering, both pristine,
Beneath my pillow accidentally left.
 
And Lola, love, I wish you all the best
In your London house and at your whiteboard - queen
Of the classroom, and I'm not a total pest,
So I've changed your name and
                                            here's your knick-knicks and your vest!
 
 
 
 
 

 

Certificate U
Poem
Lost and found
Humour
Love
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by tibi popovici on

I like uncertainty of leaving behind, intentionally or by mistake. But, if i am thinking at knickers and vest that makes me think that was definitely a gift, a remember for good days smiley Like it!

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Thanks for your friendly comment Tibi. This is a little real-life poem.My elder daughter works in London as a secondary school teacher, 200 miles away from me and she forgot to pack everything after she came back for a visit! 1 or 2 readers may remember it from 3 years back as I posted it under a different pen name and I have now made small changes to get it to flow better. I don't always comment on what I read but I have pressed the 'like' key for 2 or 3 of yourssmiley

Submitted by tibi popovici on

I suspected you for those likes, from tracking system smiley But you are always welcomed to write comments also wink for the sake of writting improvement.

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Loved your poem Elsie...put a smile  smiley on my face.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Aww thanks Jenny. She's now 27 and still a little forgetful - can't think where she gets it from hahasmiley

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Enjoyed the humour and form you've got this into Elsie.
Reminded me of the time my grandsons stayed while their Mum and Dad went off for a couple of days' walking in Wales, and just as Mum and Dad had driven off, the elder (and most forgetful) said, 'I can't find any socks'. He'd been told to do his own packing - a determined mother and teacher! So our first outing was to a cheapish 'factory shop' to get a pack! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Glad you liked this Rhiannon. I'm sometimes forgetful too. I tell myself it's not age related but last year I wanted to buy some proper bacon, non-prepacked. On route to the butcher's  I was saying to myself 'pieces of bacon',I took a while to remember 'rashers'. Mind you I can remember being a forgetful teenager!

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks for making me smile, elsiesmiley  'Senior moments'...ah yes, I know them wellindecision

Much enjoyed.

Tina

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

wink

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi 

What great fun this was to read. I suspected it was your daughter, and enjoy the little personal snippets from people's lives.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Yes, Jean, it's a 'Mum' poem Glad you like itsmiley

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on

Love this one Elsie, so real.  'Knick knicks' brings back memories and made me smile!

Linda

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Glad you like it Linda, smileyit's reality poetry

Submitted by hilary west on

May I say your 'Behind' sticks out a bit when you start that line with it, and interrupts the flow a bit. But I liked the humour of this piece. More power to your elbow!

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Thanks for reading, Hilary

Submitted by VeraClark on

Mother has spoken. Particularly liked the sense of your daughter moving away by train whilst you discover the smalls.

 

Submitted by jazz on

Really  found this fun, seems  to  say so  much 

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Thanks  Vera and Jazz for your freindly feedback.  This is a read-aloud entertainment piece for people I know. I have not yet dared to show it to my daughter!