One Step Ahead! 240 Words

Cherry

By Denzella

Thu, 19 Mar 2015
  • 3530 reads
8 comments
 

One Step Ahead! 240 Words

 

I woke up with a question on my mind,

When did you decide to leave me behind?

You agreed that I could be the first to part,

Instead, you've left me with a fractured heart.

 

Did you know that was how it would be?

Were there signs I just did not see?

Is that why you left me to walk alone?

Because I failed you; I should have known?

 

Please tell me why, was it to punish me,

Because of my lack of sensitivity?

The pain of it is something I can't bear,

Were there symptoms of which I was unaware?

 

Fifty years together but still too brief,

Although there is no ticking clock on grief.

I wanted much more time than you could give,

Is that the reason you sentenced me to live?

 

Help me now out of this trough of despair,

To leave me in this abyss is so unfair.

For our daughters' sake I must carry on,

But without the one person I depended upon.

 

Will I ever look forward to tomorrow,

And reject this all consuming sorrow?

In company my tears must remain unshed,

But how I wish they could flow freely instead.

 

Though to friends my visage will show dry eyes,

And I have a smile ready to hide their lies.

But to make a life I must bury the pain,

Then with God's help, I might learn to smile again!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Certificate PG
Poem
Poems
Love

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Don't ever think you're alone Moya,

When you feel a gentle breeze, or a kindly word is spoken, know that he's there watching over you. 

It can be hard if you don't believe the spirit goes on, but I have faith that our loved ones never leave us completely.

Love is so strong.

Hope you find comfort Moya.  angel

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Jenny,

From the bottom of my heart I thank you.  When next I feel a gentle breeze I will think of your words.

Moya x

 

Submitted by Bee on

I am beside myself with sadness reading this Moya. You express the desolation you are going through with beauty in the words and love. I hope that to be able to write like this will help, not only as an outlet, but also that in a small way, your friends here are able to share a fraction of your terrible loss with you. I'm sorry not to have more to give - words just aren't enough. 

Thinking of you,

Deborah Xxx

Bee

Submitted by Denzella on

Bee,

Words are everything when they give comfort as your words do.  I wish I had your talent at expressing yourself but I don't have poetic words so I must try to convey how I feel as best I can and if that helps someone in  a similar situation then I am glad I wrote it.  I didn't expect it would help me but strangely enough it does though I type through a veil of tears. I don't ever want to forget him so by writing about him brings him nearer.  I didn't think it would be liked much because some might find it too depressing.

However, my next submission is my first attempt at bouncing  back to use Richard's words. Derek would like it I know he would. 

Moya x

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Somehow you seem to be talking yourself through some of the grief, Moya - not to lessen it, but to accept it, and somehow know it will lead through. Even if the tears are kept for private, at least you are able to shed them, and properly mourn while remembering good times. Others may find help in their griefs, through your sharing your feelings honestly. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Rhiannon,

Right again.  You are so perceptive.  I am trying to analyse how I'm feeling and to set it down because one goes through such a gamut of emotions that it's difficult to understand how one feels.  I have felt anger, bitterness, resentment  and overwhelming sorrow.  But I have also seen how highly thought of he was. and that comforts me.  Then love comes flooding back as I am reminded how lucky I was to have him in my life.  He was one of life's true gentlemen.

Moya

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Asking why, when there is no answer. Your words must speak to many people who have suffered loss. Thinking of you xxx

Submitted by Denzella on

Dear Elsie,

What bothers me is that  I knew there was something wrong.  He wasn't himself these last two years and I was always sending him to the doctors to get checked for this or that and everything came back normal so in the end I persuaded myself it must be because of his COPD.  He died of a ruptured aneurism but I still keep thinking did I miss something because I just knew there was something wrong and I should have persued it.  I don't like to think he had that time bomb ticking away for two years.

MOya xx