Fame or flame? (IP)

By Rhiannonw

Sat, 21 Mar 2015
  • 2710 reads
13 comments
 

The fire approached,
the danger encroached,
they were building a boat –
the best thing afloat.

Luxurious, expansive,
and very expensive –
would hold everything
they owned would go in.

The government’s ship
had arrived, they could slip
away – but just space
for themselves and one case.

They dithered and moaned,
protested and groaned,
but the time had run out,
there came a last shout:

‘Last chance to evacuate’:
lost chance to participate –
lust chancing for fame,
all lost to the flame.

[IP: Last Chance]

Certificate U
Poem
Families
Philosophy
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Lots of ideas here, reminds me of stories, real and imagined.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks H/PS. Based on a story i heard, many applications. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

Ignoring the warning and rescue - hanging on to stuff is futile.

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Quite so. Thank, Bee. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Alas, sometimes warnings are heeded too late.
A good take on the I.P., Rhiannon.

Luigi x

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, yes, Luigi. Glad you felt it worked OK as verse. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by tibi popovici on

I find all governments ships on flames, they build them and then set them on fire.
Like it!

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks for that Tibi, bu not sure what you mean exactly. It is the fictional government ship offering rescue from the flames on land here! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by tibi popovici on

I was thinking more in a political sense, that the governments are usually make investments in huge projects which are predestined to fail.

That was the first link I've made after I read it for the first time. It's great, even if I missed the point smiley

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on

Nice concept and good rhyming Rhiannon, I enjoyed this but not sure about second verse - last two lines don't seem to flow - unless it's just me up past my bedtime!

Linda

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Linda. I must think maybe a bit more about those two lines when it's not past my bedtime too! I felt I was just being a bit mischievous, causing a sort of double flow ie

would hold  everything
they owned

and/or

everything
they owned would go in.

Maybe you can think about it too, and say whether you think it's allowable.
Nice to hear from you. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

I was thinking the arc when I started reading this, but soon decided that wasn't the case. Interesting last stanza. I like it.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Jean. Yes, i enjoyed the alliteration that came about in the last stanza! I hope you enjoy all your grandchildren-sitting, long stints can be tiring aswell as rewarding! Rhiannon