Falling Off the High Horse

It was an absolutely beautiful day outside. Spring had just come in its full glory, with birds chirping and dogs sun bathing on the concrete porch out back. We were all outside since some of the people wanted to smoke and Julie didn't allow it in the house. Well, pretty much everyone but me wanted to smoke, but today I didn't seem too mind as much. It was just too nice to mind being outside. We chit chatted about work and weather and all the normal things when the conversation suddenly turned to a strange direction. My friends father, Mr. Wiggins, being one of those dads who awkwardly hangs out with his kids and everyone has to be tight-lipped around because he's not really "down", said:

"Martha and I drove by your house the other day...it sure is nice. You own it?"

"Yes, we bought it about 2 years ago. Well, more like the bank owns it!" I replied in a joking tone. Several friends agreed amongst themselves that banks do indeed own the world.

"Do you mind if I ask how much you paid?" Mr. Wiggins asked. 

"Oh no I don't mind," I replied agreeably. "We got it for $260,000."

"That's a great price.  Must be nice to qualify for all those government help programs" he said, with the volume of his voice trailing off at the end of his sentence, perhaps to keep me from hearing the back hand of his compliment. 

"It was a foreclosure, and we don't get government assistance of any kind." I retorted in a tone that made my disdain for his comment undeniable.

"Oh well, whether they're paying for your house, food, or medical bills, it's still government help." His words were drenched in his misplaced assurance that I, and by association all others with me, were nothing more than bums.

"Excuse me? I'll have you know that when I said we get no type of assistance, that's what I meant.  None.  We found the house and loan completely on our own and pay it every month completely on our own.  And I'll be honest, I don't think I like what you're insinuating right now."

"I'm not trying to insinuate anything.  I just remember how things were with you and your family growing up...all the partying and drugs and such.  I mean, it's no secret that you and your boyfriend do drugs...hell, you'll even post stuff about marijuana legalization on your Facebook."  He paused to take a swig of his beer and hypocritically continued.  "I just can't imagine someone who was raised like you and still does the things you do being successful enough to own a house like that without someone else footing the bill...or even smart enough to know what a foreclosure is!" He made this last proclamation with an air of superiority that was unmistakable. The short chuckle that followed was just adding insult to injury. 

I smiled softly and turned to look at Julie, who's face had an expression of impending doom, somewhere between fear and embarrassment.  I was careful not to raise my voice as I replied. 

"I am successful because I made efforts to get an education and go above and beyond at every job I've had since I was 13. Everything I have is due to hard work and the generosity of friends and family.  I do smoke weed, but if you're fool enough to think that it should be bundled into the same group with drugs like meth and heroine, well that says more about your ignorance than my character.  And if I had my guess, I'd say the person who gets the most government help here is you. No doubt you pay next to nothing for all this land due to the devilish deal you made with the state.  But I guess it doesn't count when you're the freeloader, huh?"

His eyes and nostrils flared with anger at my response. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off at the pass.

"Furthermore Mr. Wiggins, I do not remember a single instance of you visiting my childhood home, so it is perplexing to me as to why you assume to know so much about how I was raised.  And if you really did think we were being raised in such poor and dangerous conditions, then why didn't you make an effort to intervene on our behalf years ago, as any respectable adult would have done for a child?"

I made a slight pause as if I wanted a response, but the dumb look on his face made it obvious that he had none, so I continued.

"It really takes an arrogant, haughty person to talk to me as you have, Mr. Wiggins.  You know nothing about me or anyone related to me.  You're nothing but a back woods gossip and self-proclaimed big shot. It would serve you well to mind your tongue when you speak to me from now on, at least until you live such a perfect life that you can justify your self-righteous condescension, because it seems that along with knowing nothing about me, you also know little about your own. Which is surprising since you've been trying to preserve your youth through them for as long as I can remember."

This last statement struck a chord as they say. Mr. Wiggins retaliated with a string of expletives that would have made a hooker blush. Satisfied that the no count jerk understood his error, I calmly motioned to Tony my intention to leave, which he followed. The Wiggins boys both scowled at me as I passed, surely enraged that I had put their father in his petty place, but I didn't care. However, as I passed Julie (the youngest Wiggins' new wife) I couldn't help but feel bad for my behavior, since up was sure it meant we would no longer be allowed to be friends. Little did I know that she too had tired of her father in law's snobbish demeanor and was fain to hear him get his due, and as we pulled out of the drive I notice a slight smile across her lips. See that made it all so worth it.