My Other Life is

Gold cherry
Poem of the week
Pick of the Month

By Philip Sidney

Fri, 24 Apr 2015
  • 19705 reads
54 comments
 

My other life is a peach

bare feet, warm sand

clear running water

mind, body, place

sweet blossom

contentment

gold, green

birdsong

sunlight

leaves

space

to be

me

but

this life

is a bitch

flea-ridden

tongue-lolling

down-trodden

whining, whining

hot breath and drool

night pacing, back-biting

sad eyes pleading don’t go

I think of my other life when

this one bites, stroke its head

feel warmth and tremble, I stay.

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by tibi popovici on

Innovating writing, interesting idea and very cool ending smiley Like it, Philip!

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks tibi. smiley

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Helen

What a clever way to write a poem - down to the nitty gritty and back again. Beautifully done.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you Jean.

Submitted by denni1 on

Powerful stuff !

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks Denni.

Submitted by Bee on

I like the way the contrast after the calm of the first part starts to hit you. Really good.

Bee

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you Bee.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

You seem to have an interest in the physical shape of the poems! This reminded me of the 'Fib' form in which we had to compose as one stage of the Pentathlon competition a couple of years ago.
What you have written seems to be a picture of 'escapism versus perseverance'? Though there seemed a bit of a canine image about it? Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks Rhiannon,  I didn't set out to give it a shape, it seemed have a natural momentum and made itself into one!   That pentathlon sounds fun.  I was thinking of theose old car stickers 'My other car is a Porche', the dream life and the real one. 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Oh, I was a bit slow, not picking up the peach/Porsche idea! I hadn't meant to decry escapism, or dreams, just thinking of their helping one on in perseverance in the present reality. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

No - your reading is right too! Just giving you a tour of my mind, I expect you could do without it. smiley

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

You have no idea how much this cheered me up this morning. Just loved it.

Rich

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks you so much Rich!  You've made my day. smiley

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

I left out bravo! and brilliant.

Rich

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Aw blush.

Submitted by hilary west on

Loved the curve of this poem. Poets like Herbert used to do this. I think he did one that was butterfly shaped. Brilliant!

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you Hilary.smiley

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

What a lovely surprise!  Thank you for the pick! laugh

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Oh I missed this before Philip - it's fantastic --congratulations!

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much insert. smiley

Submitted by jolono on

I missed it too PS. Wonderful poem. Love the structure of it. Well done on POTM.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you Jolono. smiley

Submitted by Penny4athought on

Simple and true. The life we have vs. the mirror image of the better one. Words and images flowed so well and I could relate to all of it. Thanks for a great read! loved it.

Penny4athought

Penny4athought

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much penny4athought! :)

Submitted by Steve on

The poem certainly looks like a beach.

I'd love to have a name like Philip Sydney, Sounds like the name of a spy who also writes novels... like John Le Carre.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Hi Steve, it's not my real name, my ABCtales nom de plume, I like that it's enigmatic. smiley

Submitted by catherine poarch on

I liked the shape too. It's almost symmetrical but the slightly thicker end reflects the build up. And the thinest bit, the middle, hinges on the but! It's great when you don't plan a shape but it has a life of its own. It makes me think of my imagainary garden, The one I'll get when my get rich fairly slowly plan works out.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks Catherine, where would we be without our dreams?smiley

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

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