solitude

Cherry

By tibi popovici

Mon, 20 Apr 2015
  • 1800 reads
13 comments
 

bishop takes queen,
always did,
because of me
and you
alone in this park,
again,
disturbing thoughts,
cheating,
as always you do
stupid,
can't even challenge
myself
because somebody
wanna cheat,
prefer listen the birds...
checkmate!
you chaffinch.

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by scratch on

This is really good tibi.  I love the outdoor chess scene and how it give the poem physicality and movement.  Well done.  Did you mean to put 'chess mat' or 'chess match' in the penultimate line?

 

Submitted by tibi popovici on

Did it again sad Supposed to be "checkmate", Peter. Thanks for reading!

Submitted by Bee on

I thought this was good, too. 

Bee

Submitted by tibi popovici on

Thank you Bee! smiley

Submitted by tibi popovici on

Thanks for the cherries! surprise

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

You just get better and better, tibi...and I get worse and worse at chess.  Couldn't even master draughts...much to my father's dismay after hours and hours of trying to teach me when I was a chld.  Give me Scrabble, anydaysmiley

Well done on those cherries.

Tina

 

Submitted by tibi popovici on

Thanks Tina smiley Regarding chess, I still have plenty of improvements to do there smiley, perhaps I should stop playing with myself. About scrabble, omg, I am terrible smiley don't challenge me smiley

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Very good tibi!  The rythm sounds like the to and fro of a chess game.

Submitted by tibi popovici on

Oh, thanks you Philip! I was wondering if that can be felt smiley Glad to hear that

Submitted by Steve on

the Catholic Church always cheats.

"For our small sins, they ask excessive prices." (Baudelaire)

 

Submitted by tibi popovici on

interesting connexion you made, steve :)

thanks for reading

Submitted by Art of the Diver on

Nice one and suitably rewarded, you expressed the scene well, with disinterest and humour, no easy task that Tibi..

Rob

Submitted by tibi popovici on

Thanks a lot Rob, your description it's great. Looking forward for your writtings also.

T.