A Room In Chungking

Gold cherry
Pick of the Month

By socialeaf

Fri, 15 May 2015
  • 6986 reads
15 comments
 
On the gritty wall
askew
in sultry disrepair,
hangs Hokusai’s Great Wave.
Almost a  window once perhaps,
this place has won it over.
 
Below
on crumpled sheets,
she cradles him like a cello
having fed him a teaspoon of sin.
Pallid tenderness he weeps he knows.
She sees and lets him go.
 
On her way out
she passes
three wrong clocks,
that tick out a tinny gallop.  
London, New York, Hong Kong
She sighs,
"London, New York, Hong Kong."
 
Certificate PG
Poem
Leafnotes
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

So much of this I'd like to pick out to comment on, but I'll just say - wonderful!

Bee

Submitted by socialeaf on

 

 

Submitted by EB on

The repeated last line is powerful in meaning. Excellent.

Submitted by socialeaf on

 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Wonderful!  Time and place evoked.

Submitted by socialeaf on

 

 

Submitted by scratch on

Excellent poetry.

'having fed him a teaspoon of sin'  Where did that come from?  Cos I want to go there.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

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Submitted by socialeaf on

 

 

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

stellar, transportive stuff, delicate and gorgeous. pointless to pick out parts as would be reprinting whole thing here but part. loved 'cradles him like a cello/having fed him a teaspoon of sin.' whisks you away and feeds the soul :-)

 

Submitted by socialeaf on

Cheers Stephen:)
Roy

 

Submitted by jolono on

Loved this, and, like Scratch, that line "having fed him a spoonful of sin" is a KILLER line.

 

Submitted by socialeaf on

Thank you jolono. I'd had that one line bouncing about my head for a while- even tried it in a few failed attempts. No idea where it comes from:)

 

Submitted by scratch on

Well if you find out I'd like the directions.

 

Submitted by socialeaf on

Ok, you got dibs:)