Aging Carer

By Rhiannonw

Mon, 01 Jun 2015
  • 2072 reads
6 comments
 

Aging parent
too aged to realise
he’s cared for by his
aging weary child –
but when the parent smiled
the child was well rewarded –
such feedback afforded
renewal of strength
for the length of the task:

not one to ask
for others to share
in the care,
but when they appear,
and some of the labour they bear,
aware that exhaustion
had drawn very near.

 

Certificate U
Poem
Families
Love

Comments

Submitted by EB on

With a longer life expectancy, more aging children will be caring for their parents. It's hard, but as you point out, there are rewards, and hopefully some welcome, if unasked for assistance from an occasional kind hearted soul who sees a need. Your repeated rhymes add a feeling of fatigue, I think. 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, EB. Though this was intended to be generic, it was particulary inspired on noting the age and tiredness of the son of someone living quite near, who either lives with or calls in a lot to his father, whom I used to see about and fairly aged in those days. I think they have a care service calling in for some help now, but as you say, the carers are older now than they used to be, and sometimes too tired to be aware that they can receive help and some relief. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

Such a thought provoking and touching poem, Rhiannon. 

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Bee. Brief, but the thoughts seemed to express the sensitivity of the concern. Glad you felt it worked. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

I particularly like this poem, and it has a significance for me. My half-sister who just had her 87th birthday was recently put into a nursing care unit. Her five kids all live in the same area, and her son had been taking care of her, with a live-in helper, (who she didn't like) doing some caring during the day. The other children visited often. But after her last stroke, she needed more care than they could give, so they found a small residential place for her. She will be so upset as she always made her kids promise that they would care for her in her old age. But her kids wouldn't have done it unless they felt it was the best way for her. I hope the people she now lives with are ones she likes, and maybe they play the occasional game of cribbage with her. She could always beat me, despite her  alzheimers.

Jean

 

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Their caring for her would not mean being able to do it all themselves. It's good to hear they have been able to give her so much time and attention. My mother-in-law, being a fiercely independant lady, used to say 'You won't have to care for us in our old age, we'll go into a home, won't we, John', to which I think he'd give a vague grunt. But it didn't happen, because until they suddenly aged, they felt quite capable and didn't think such a thing necessary, and these days such issues are much more complex, and they desperately liked living in their own home as long as possible. But John was happy being looked after 'properly' when the need came. I think mother-in-law would accept it if/when we felt it necessary, but I don't think that time is yet. Hard to have to make decisions for those whose ability to make them has passed. Rhiannon