Delete Draft

By Deliberately Evolving

Wed, 17 Jun 2015
  • 4253 reads
17 comments
 

Delete draft?

 
I just wanted to say....
Hey, hope you're ok....
I have a quick...
(Er....)
Question?.......
Something was on my mind....
Not sure how to phrase this but....
I was thinking of you and.....
No.
Delete draft?
Yes.
 
Draft mail.
 
Dear.... (too formal)
When I saw you today I ....
I miss you... (No way)
I have to ask, are you avoiding....
(Too paranoid)
Hey, 
I was wondering if you thought we could still be friends? 
I wouldn't like to think that 
this is where it ends. 
I wonder whether maybe 
you think I'm just a pain,
And that my attempts at friendship
have all been in vain....
 
Delete draft?
Yes.
 
Draft mail.
 
Hi - do you still have my book? 
I can't find it.
Do you think you could take a look?
Rgrds. Your friend.
X
Send.
Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

 clever idea - works well as a poem, too.

Did you get your book back?

Bee

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

It's just fictional.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Interesting  that "Rgrds. Your friend" actually says so much in that situation. Does'nt come over too pushy, but seems to just quietly open a door.
Good idea as a poem. Makes a good point well. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thanks Rhiannon. I was mulling over the idea of things unsaid and attempts to say them but eventually resorting to shallow meaningless contact instead to avoid being vulnerable. Says a lot about life and how people protect their feelings. I don't do that. I'm an open book.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Oh, I see, so you were feeling that too little was said in the end. Depends on the situation doesn't it? Sometimes cutting so much out is just avoiding being open in what you want to say. But sometimes, especially in an email situation it is more hitting on what is enough, and wisely kept brief to just open the door for more?? One thing about emails is you can have lots of attempts quickly before hitting send, and even keep old drafts if you want to for a while! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

I have done that myself before. I like to email or text my husband - it means that I can think about how to word things and leave out the emotion. 

Often though we want contact but don't want to leave ourselves vulnerable so we end up resorting to meaningless contact just so that we can say something.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by airyfairy on

Great.  Captures that particular dilemma so well.  Really liked the rhythm of it, agree that it works really well as a poem.

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thanks Airyfairy. I suppose I was trying to be clever. Glad you liked it.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

...and you succeeded, admirably, in your quest, Aesmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thanks Tina. That's kind of you to say. I have been really enjoying writing poetry the last few weeks 

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

It showssmiley

 

Submitted by love_writing on

I like this it shows how many of us second guess how to approach discussing those tricky conversations. And also how we can press 'delete' on things we'd rather not say. Great topic that gets you thinking, the stucture is effective too. 

love_writing

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thanks LW. That's exactly what I was getting at.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by EB on

We rarely get to say what we mean in these situations. 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

True. Sometimes I try and I always think of something later that I ought to have said.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by LeadenPen on

I love the idea of your poem. It works on many levels and seems to be like a picture of every day life. I would like to see more of this in future pieces. Making something relatable often draws readers in, as it did me.

Don't let others leaden words drag you down. Craft them into a pen and write.

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thanks LP. Thanks for reading and commenting.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.