While you were sleeping

By Sarah Allatt

Tue, 23 Jun 2015
  • 1998 reads
5 comments
 

lunar light lands on lashes 

dusting away yesterday's regrets 
lessons learned with all those losing bets

conscious drifting as his half crescent smile   beams
enchanting the skies with opalescent gleam 
stitching silvered silken strands through tattered seams
captured in the very essence of sweet dreams

vivid visions spin a pirouette 
suspended on lustrous silhouettes 

lunar light lands on lashes

By Sarah Allatt, © 2015, All rights reserved.

Symetrelle form created by Bluejewelzuzu

Five Stanzas
1, 2, 4, 2, 1                 lines
7, 9, 11, 9, 7,              stanza syllable meter
A, bb, cccc, bb, A,    rhyme scheme

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Sarah Allatt on

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Lovely poem with beautiful descriptions. The structure and form is very interesting and has a very artistic result.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by love_writing on

Lovely moments of alliteration ; stitching silvered silken strands. Nicely done.

love_writing

Submitted by EB on

Nicely rhyming and not too obvious, with some lovely flowing lines.

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

very transportive and pretty. lovely diction&alliteration rolls well, accentuates the feel. liked the sudden 'his', too, ' his half crescent smile'. don't know much about form and found the info interesting. very much enjoyed :-)