The Cleaners

Gold cherry

By socialeaf

Fri, 10 Jul 2015
  • 5049 reads
12 comments
 

We clean in lieu

of conversation,

we sweep past each other-

spectres in an untouching waltz

on finely cracked thin ice.

 

weightless

loveless

apart

 

Our flat, like lustrous crystal

in a museum of such things-

polished brilliant but unused,

to be looked at, not touched;

a home of ghosts and echoes.

 

dustless

lustless

empty  

 
Certificate U
Poem
Leafnotes
Love

Comments

Submitted by london_calling79 on

A beautifully described falling apart. Hermetically sealed, clipped up and washed down with antibiotics.

 

Submitted by socialeaf on

Thank you london_calling! 

 

Submitted by EB on

There's a swiftness in the passing dancers. 

'weightless

loveless

apart'

 

'dustless

lustless

empty' - nicely mirrored. 

All sounds beautiful in appearance and perfectly functional, but having lost the essence of satisfaction - loveless. Excellent!

Submitted by socialeaf on

Appreciate your reading it EB, and very much liked your analysis of it. Thank you! 

 

Submitted by Canonette on

Beautiful, an ice ballet of words!

 

Submitted by socialeaf on

 Thank you Canonette:)

 

Submitted by love_writing on

This is a great example of showing that unspoken wedge that can form in relationships. I like the form, use of words and the visual you've created through the gleaming, sparking, untouchable 'flat' like a musuem. Enjoyed and can relate to this.  

love_writing

Submitted by Shannan on

... and the truth of it will lead one to weep in the situation and the soul to fall to depression. 

May it change - may the emptiness find love to full it

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

This icy tale of love gone cold is our Pick of the Day!

http://tinyurl.com/ydctwtow

 

Submitted by socialeaf on

Wow, this is a very pleasant surpise. Thank you! 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I think I might have missed this first time around, so am very pleased it was picked. Brilliant, sparse, says all that's needed. Wonderful!

 

Submitted by socialeaf on

Thank you Insert:)