"Get Ready To Play. It's..." ( Poetry Monthly)

Cherry

By jolono

Wed, 08 Jul 2015
  • 6966 reads
22 comments
 

Snotty nosed kid, with

sodden nappy and

a bowl of Rice Krispies,

sits inches from wonder.

 

A smile appears, when

it’s THAT time.

He tells no time,

but knows the music.

 

His eyes come alive

as he hears the words

of the familiar rhyme.

And big ted appears.

 

He ignores the scream

from the room next door

where mum is

entertaining “uncle” Lenny.

 

He wants only to know

which one today.

Round, square or arched,

and where it will lead.

 

It’s square, and he

giggles as fish swim

through rivers,

and jump at waterfalls.

 

Maybe tomorrow

It will be round

and children will

play on swings.

 

Then, it’s over.

He cries.

"Uncle" Lenny leaves.

And mum wipes her tears.

 

 

Certificate 12
Poem
Poems of Life and Love
Other Fiction

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I like the juxtaposition of events

 

Submitted by jolono on

Thank you insert. Wasn't sure if people would get it as the programme finished so long ago. But, for me, windows and Playschool just go together...

 

Submitted by EB on

I'd like to pretend I don't get it, but I do. Cleverly done - I liked it.

Submitted by jolono on

Thanks for the read EB.

 

Submitted by celticman on

oh, where's jemimah? 

 

Submitted by jolono on

Behind Big Ted!

 

Submitted by celticman on

sneaky!

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

The wonder and the squalor are perfectly balanced. Who knows what went on behind the scenes?

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

He tells no time, but knows the music Well put!

Loved the child's enjoyment. So sad for the older generation's loss of that real and safe enjoyment. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jolono on

Hi LC79, thought I'd leave that bit to the imagination...

 

Submitted by jolono on

Thanks Rhiannonw.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Distraction from the sadness of life, at least he had that. 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Simultaneous entertainment for the snotty nosed kid, his mum and uncle 'Lenny' But who got the greater enjoyment? One suspects that mum's tears were not of joy but of regret.
A seemingly simple tale but with deeper meaning. Well done.

Luigi

 

Submitted by jolono on

Hi PS, a distraction indeed, but for how long I wonder.

 

Submitted by jolono on

Hiya, Luigi, well observed. Tears of regret for sure. But sometimes you just gotta pay the bills!

 

Submitted by love_writing on

Heart- breaking. As the reader you made me feel empathy for the poor tot. Skillfully done- the reference to Playschool makes it all the more real.

love_writing

Submitted by scratch on

This is powerful and like EB I also would prefer that I didn't recognise the reality behind the scene.  I'd do away with the "..." that highlight Lenny isn't a real uncle (personal opinion).  

This is a cracker Joe.

 

Submitted by jolono on

Thanks LW. It is heartbraking but all too common I fear.

 

Submitted by jolono on

Hi Scratch, I think you're right about the ".." bits. I put them in for obvious reasons but now you've pointed it out, I think it really doesn't need them. Thanks for the read mate. Hope the worlds all good for you..

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

I used to love Little Ted. It's really powerful, this, a real spare and poignant pinning down of neglect. Your windows - well, their windows - offer a place of hope, a sense of child normality and it taunts the child with what he has to face.

 

Submitted by jolono on

Thank you Vera. I'm never sure if these things work so it's great to get feedback from people who know about poetry.

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

A convincing piece of writing Joe, an amused child that has no idea of what is actually taking place, too full of an easy going entertaining world of Play School and which window he's going to look through next.

Nicely done.

Jenny.