Marmalade

Marmalade was a grumpy cat. She had dark brown and ginger fur overlaid with gold. Mr. Malkin, her owner, was a kindly soul only too willing to do all he could for her. There were regular trips to the vets for her inoculations, her claw clipping, and to procure any remedies for any other ailment that might present itself. Marmalade was a lucky cat but then Mr. Malkin was smitten. He was the ultimate cat lover.

 He’d bought her a cosy bed especially lined in alpaca, bone china eating  and water bowls, all manner of cat toys and a new scratching post which was centrally placed in his smart lounge. Yet still Marmalade did not seem satisfied or even content. She would purr and preen then snap sometimes in a very grumpy way. Mr. Malkin found the only way he could appease his cat was by feeding her all manner of luxury cat foods. Not for Marmalade bargain basement cat dinners, only the best would do. So he purchased for her salmon terrine, duck with garden vegetables, and turkey and chicken compote, all at the expensive end of the market.

The more she ate the more happy she seemed and soon she was putting on weight. She was five years old now; in human terms that would be about thirty five but it was now she seemed to increase in size quite considerably. Mr. Malkin did not notice this so much, he was old now and his eyesight was failing him. He seemed blissfully unaware of the cat’s increasing largeness. Marmalade did not go out; the world was such a cruel place, all those big, heavy lorries tearing down the roads, bad boys shooting stones at her with catapults. Such things filled Mr. Malkin with dread; how much more cosy the two of them were closeted together in the warmth of their detached home with full central heating on cold, winter nights.

 So time passed for the two of them but Marmalade was a greedy cat and Mr. Malkin was spending more and more on cat food. At one point he became quite alarmed when there was no longer room for her in her cosy alpaca bed, so she took to sleeping in the spare room on the single divan. One time a neighbour was passing and on looking in the window thought she had seen a big cat, a wild lynx or a tiger, so big was Marmalade becoming. Mr. Malkin thought nothing of the increase in size he simply thought he was feeding her enough. She had been grumpy before, but now this was not the case, she loved life, stretched out before the fire, taking up most of the room space. Mr. Malkin then began to wonder if there was enough room for the both of them. Funnily enough Marmalade was thinking the same thing. Two weeks later the same neighbour that thought she had seen a wild cat in his house read in the paper : CAT LOVER OVERDOES IT. MAN EATEN BY HIS OWN CAT. But then Marmalade had always been a greedy cat. She really did not know when to stop.