Who Is Jack Winter ( Part 18)

Jack Winter ( Deputy Prime Minister) is preparing to meet the US President. But there's been a problem. The PM has had one of his "episodes". Jack is waiting patiently for Maurice ( press secretary) to arrive and give him an update on the PM's condition.

Jack was sitting in the library at number 10. To keep his mind sharp he’d just taken some blues and greens and downed a large scotch. The door opened and in walked Maurice Wells. Jack stood up.

“How is he?”

Maurice looked worried.

“Not good Jack. He’s all over the place. Rambling complete nonsense. At one point he tried to kiss me then told me to turn the fucking plane round because he’d forgotten his suitcase!”

Jack wanted to laugh but kept a straight face. He walked over to the drinks cabinet and poured two tumblers of whisky. He handed one to Maurice.

“Here, take this. You look like you could use it.”

“Thanks Jack. What the fuck happened?”

Jack sat back down and sipped his drink.

“Well, we were discussing tomorrow’s meeting with Kennedy. He was doing what he always does. You know, walking quickly around the room, half naked. Then he stops and asks me to pour him a scotch. I do what he asks and he knocks it back in one go and starts walking again. Suddenly he looks at me and says he doesn’t feel well. Then slumps on the chair and starts twitching. That’s when I called you.”

Maurice sipped his scotch.

“Classic. Just classic. Looks like he’s had us all fooled for a long time. But now the drugs have really gotten hold of him. Fuck, fuck, fuck. There’s no way we can let him attend the meeting with Victor Kennedy tomorrow. Maybe we should call it off. Tell Kennedy that’s he’s put his back out doing yoga or something.”

There was a silence before Jack spoke.

“Who else knows about his condition?”

“Just us two and the Doctor. That’s it.”

“His wife?”

“God no. She thinks he’s having some sort of melt down due to overworking. I couldn’t possibly tell her the truth.”

“Look Maurice. Let’s not be hasty here. It might just be for the best. Some of the things the PM was saying were crazy. He wants to give the US a load more bases in return for a few thousand jobs. It’s nonsense. We need much more than that. Much, much more.”

Maurice was intrigued.

“What did you have in mind Jack?”

Jack downed his drink in one and poured himself another.

“What’s our biggest problem Maurice? What’s the subject on everyone’s lips but no one wants to mention? What do we always argue about within Europe? What COULD cost us the election?”

Maurice shrugged his shoulders.

“Immigration. No question.”

Jack raised his glass in the air.

“Correct. Immigration. Both legal and illegal. Hundreds of thousands of refugees are leaving their worn torn countries and heading for Europe where it’s safe. But no one in Europe wants them. It’s a shame but that’s just the way it is. But the country most responsible for this mass exodus, both directly and indirectly, takes none of them. They worry about a few Mexicans coming over their border. So how about we give them their bases in the UK and we ask them to take 5 million refugees.”

Maurice looked at Jack open mouthed.

“Are you serious? Kennedy would never agree to that. No way.”

Jack continued.

“They’ve got fifty two states, ten of which are bigger than the whole of the UK but with only a fraction of our population. They’ve got loads of room. We’re only asking them to take 100,000 in each state. That’s 5.2 million refugees. Problem solved. We take full credit for it of course. Tell the whole of Europe that we negotiated it because of our special relationship. The voters will love us because we’ve solved the nation’s largest problem and we’ll get re-elected. The EEC will probably want to suck the PM’s dick and Victor Kennedy becomes the greatest humanitarian in living history. Everybody wins.”

Maurice rubbed his chin. He was thinking about the unbelievable amount of spin he could put on this.

“Do you really think you can pull this off Jack? The PM won’t be able to attend you do realise that don’t you? You’ll be on your own with this one.”

Jack smiled.

“Leave it to me Maurice. It’s what I do best.”