Lurker

It is not the normal black dog that weighs upon the soul
but a lurker who makes his presence aware by hanging on my back.
He tricks me
He makes me think I might have gotten rid of him before jumping out and leaves me breathless.

Breath

How I miss being able to breathe. 
This monster, he frightens me. I am a child again. 

Not always around, I long for those days of being free. 
The days of me. The me I know, I miss. 

He was viscious today. He always comes at the wrong time. 
I can't see him now but I know he is around. 

Oh, if I could kill him.

Wretch him from my shoulders and throw him far. 
I feel as though I may never be free. 
I crave freedom, I try so hard. 

Hopelessness creeps in. Is this a new lurker? Has he brought his companions?
Fear is here too. 
I think they laugh at me. They smirk at my pain. 

I am lost.