Legacy

Cherry

By EB

Thu, 22 Oct 2015
  • 4801 reads
13 comments
 

While you absorbed the setting sun

your progeny aspired to imitate, 



imagining the stone of your stare

their reward for being,



and you, their gift of your rebirth, 

a disillusionment by evening.

Certificate 15
Poem
Unclassified

Comments

Submitted by Sooz006 on

Progeny can be such a disappointment. This has a very pruned and professional feel to it EB, a delightful read. 

 

Submitted by EB on

Many thanks for your thoughts on this Sooz. Disappointment often works both ways.

Submitted by Bee on

I'm guessing by 'aspire to imitate', his kids were doing their best to please the 'you' spoken of by the narrator, but he doesn't appritiate it. Speaks like the narrator is also the son. 

Bee

Submitted by EB on

Thanks Bee.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

I did find the last 2 lines a bit difficult. I imagined you were implying that they were trying to bring the parent to liveliness and appreciation of them, but by evening, they found once again, disillusionment? Rhiannon

 

Submitted by EB on

Could be. My thanks Rhiannon.

Submitted by loquaciousicity on

An interesting write...

Is it about humans as individuals, or 'humanity' in general...

In any case, worthwhile to read!! 

Submitted by EB on

Both was my intention. Thanks Terry. Much appreciated.

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Every word drips honeycomb. Structured and sweet.

 

Submitted by EB on

Thanks that's nice of you to say. Thanks London.

Submitted by EB on

My thanks to the editors for the cherries, with apologies for late replies. 

Submitted by Art of the Diver on

Really powerful and poignant write Elliott, certainly guilty of crying out for cherries and far more. Thank you for yet another statement of your talent.

Rob

Submitted by EB on

Thank you very much Rob.