Rupture (Poetry Monthly)

Cherry

By Rhiannonw

Thu, 19 Nov 2015
  • 5050 reads
20 comments
 

Lonely,
forlorn,
life torn
in two –
bereaved and
bereft
– a void
aching cleft,
adrift
in missing you,
not kissing you,
sweet memories sting
though numb
deaf, dumb,
mind slow
limbs lead
– you’ve left
and I’m the one
that’s feeling dead …
can’t see ahead
all mist and
jarring clanging
noise.

The healing touch
will slowly reach
and soothe the turmoils,
stilled to redirect,
rebuild
some usefulness,
some happiness,
and, some day
to a measure
may again
feel busy and fulfilled,
and concentrate once more
to listen
and contribute sympathy
with empathy,
reconnect,
a need detect,
sight clearing, seeing,
continue being.

The amputation
brought devastation,
disabled,
incomplete and raw –
the wound so sore
will slowly knit
to fit
a path anew –
myself a pruned and different shape
… but always mellowed
by the life and bond of love
I’ve had with you.
https://soundcloud.com/rhiannon-weber/rupture

 

Certificate U
Poem
Families
Love

Comments

Submitted by VeraClark on

The repetition and rhyme in this love song makes something restorative of deep loss.It sounds soothing, it's very well composed, satisfying to hear aloud.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you Vera. It was on my heart, and I have one of my IT expert sons staying so he helped me set up in SoundCloud. He has just gone out, but when he returns I have a concern that the second one I tried to upload may have got linked to this one, so apologies if it has, but soon should be corrected. Thanks for cherries. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Beautifully read.  Sad but appreciative.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks for that, Helen. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

The poem is wonderful, Rhiannon, and so movingly and beautifully performed with just the right feeling. 

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks very much, Bee. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Excellent poem Rhiannon and read so well.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Jenny. Appreciated. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by torscot on

With the others in their comments plus I enjoyed the sad spoken word via Soundcloud. 

Perhaps you should do more while your son is around and post a selection of your Nature tales or Countryside explorations?

Regards

torscot

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, torscot. I think I've understood from him how to post them now, so I might try some more gradually. But Soundcloud does seem a bit odd about flowing your recordings on sometimes to someone else's. I suppose you have to hope your listener at least realises when your piece has finished. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

oh I like Torscot's idea - your series on the months of the year would be perfect for that! Really liked this poem - the repetition and rhyme, as vera says, make it special and I enjoyed hearing you read it. Another really strong contender from the poetry monthly!

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks very much, Insert. Pleased to hear all that, and must think about the ideas for recording. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

When I first read this, I was thinking that it was an unhappily  divorced woman speaking - even the "I'm the one feeling dead" didn't make me think differently. Then I listened to you (I presume) reading it, and saw the Bereavement heading. So I read it again myself, and could see it having more meaning from that point of view.  It is a lovely poem, and full of emotion.

I was interested to hear that your voice didn't sound Welsh - or at least not to my American ears. I will look into sound cloud.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Actually, I was hoping that having the 'RIP' gravestone on the image would direct to it being bereavement.

Interestingly, I think I had a widower in mind more than a widow, maybe because of some honest sharing by our recently bereaved friend, of whom I wrote in 'The joy of an Indian Summer' a little while ago.

My husband just asked me if I sounded Welsh on the recording! I think as I speak Welsh, my English isn't as much affected by accent.
Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

A poem full of emotion and sadness marvellously expressed both in words and audio, Rhiannon.
I was curious to see whether your reading had any Welsh inflection but I heard none. Your diction was perfect and clear all throughout.

Luigi x

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Luigi, much appreciate your appreciation! My accent is slight, but definitely there I think - I thought it might come over hightened in a recording especially if I was a bit nervous! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I definitely heard a slight (and lovely) Welsh accent

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Oh, that's nice, thanks Insert! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Ladylily on

Good write , straight to the sharp point of lost love, and the short lines really set the pacey read that fits the up and down emotions.

LadyLily

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Lady Lily, very much. Rhiannon