Breech of the Piss

Cherry

By Bee

Wed, 06 Apr 2016
  • 5116 reads
17 comments
 

I had a baby today. Not yet - I was probably still in the bath with the big mirror at the side that turned me into a badly plucked chicken. No sign of labour - ten days away - at least. I was unprepared, except for the personal blade that scratched and ripped followed by an uncomfortable enema. 



I almost skipped into the room with the narrow bed in the middle. The doctor set up a drip and stuck a catheter into a vein but the tube didn't fit straight away and I felt a warm river; heard it plop on the floor - my blood, 'Oh my god, your going to die!' she joked. But her voice kind of tremored as she spoke. Hands all dabble. Then nothing. Turn up the drip. Nothing.



Then the gripping started. No drugs, I was adamant, till the surgeon walked in; turned the drip up to maximum and then a nurse walked in and said, who's turned this up - she'll go into a continual contraction... ?



So I went into a continual contraction and begged for an epidural, and Alan. After five attempts, and equal doses that had no effect, I was shut up with an elephant dose of pethidine, which rendered me speechless but did little, if nothing for the pain. Five hours later my boys butt slid into view, and he was always ever-so proud that he pissed in the doctor's face. I felt the thud of each long forcep and my baby was suddenly in Alan's arms. He looked amazed - the baby, not Alan, and they gave him to me - the baby, but I didn't want him. Scared I'd drop him off the side of the bed. too many drugs muddling my head. So they took him away. Sat me up for a wee, and sudden pain flooded my head, so they laid me down again, and that's how I stayed for 48 hours. On a drip and catheterized.



They kept bringing the boy back to me, but I still didn't want him. Had to feed him on each side. He was sweet and good, and I felt guilty, but hadn't I done enough? I'd given birth, after a fashion. Somebody else should have him. 



That was 37 years ago - five thirty tonight. 

Certificate 12
Story
Love

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

HI Bee,

you brought back memories of my own birth all those years ago, I still remember it like it was yesterday. I too had an epidural, promising myself when I went in I wouldn't have any drugs, but Oh! The pain.

You mentioned your son pissed when he arrived. Well guess what? While I was pushing and dead from the waist down, it was me that was pissing and feeling very embarrassed indeed, blush but being assured by the nurse that it was quite normal, though I didn't feel normal at the time.

What us women have to go through! You sure brought the message home in this piece.

Jenny.

 

 

Submitted by Bee on

My epidural didn't work unfortunately, or I might have been pushing and pissing with the best of them. No dignity in childbirth, but you sure remember it. 

Thanks so much, Jenny. 

Bee

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Another really wonderfully constructed piece of life writing - ABC is humming with these at the moment and I'm enjoying them all. Happy Birthday to you both, thank you for sharing this memory with us and - you must have been so young then! Do you think that made a difference to your experience?

 

 

 

Submitted by Bee on

I think it had more to do with him being breech, and then inducing me early - before I was ready. So pleased you enjoyed the writing. Thanks, insert.

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

For the cherry picker - X

Bee

Submitted by hilary west on

It all sounds very undignified, but at least you got through it alright. Thanks for sharing, HW laugh

 

Submitted by Bee on

I did get through it. Thanks Hilary. 

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Bee -  it's a wonderful thing...sharing these memories, in such a delightful way.

When I had my eldest daughter it was the back-end of the sixties, and although epidurals (or some form of) had been around for quite some years, they weren't widely adminstered until the seventies, or so I understand, so I had to make do with pethidine.  When my second daughter was born it was 1970.  I had her at home and was lucky enough to be able to get by just on gas and air, and I enjoyed this birth much more than the hospital one.  When my daughter herself became pregnant she asked me what giving birth was actually like, and I told her she would feel elated afterwards...as if it were a lifetime of Christmases rolled into one.  She didn't feel that way at all, though, and couldn't wait to offload her new offspring, yelling at the top of its lungs,  into my armssmiley  Which just goes to show how wonderfully different we all are, and long may it be so.

Really enjoyed reading this, and as Hilary says, thanks for sharing.

Tina

 

Submitted by Bee on

So pleased you enjoyed it, Tina. I really enjoyed hearing / reading about your stories, too. Fortunately by the third day, once I was able to sit up, I fell in love with him. But having to lie flat and Hoyk him from one side to the other, every time they brought him to me, did nothing to help the bonding process. I just felt so guilty for not appreciating what I'd got. Felt like my job was done. 

Bee

Submitted by VeraClark on

You gave him life, a woman deserves a rest after agony.Such complexity. I remember the dawning after my first child that the responsibility was permenant. OMFG!!! :-) A really brave piece and stronger for its candidness

 

Submitted by Bee on

You made me laugh. Thanks Vera. 

Bee

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

This made me happy - I had my eldest daughter two days after this!  I remember every moment - even though I was off my head on pethidine.  

Submitted by Bee on

Great being off our heads but still remembering. Thanks Philip, that's very much appreciated, and so pleased it made you happy. 

Bee

Submitted by airyfairy on

Happy birth day for yesterday!  No, it certainly isn't always beatific smiles and cooing afterwards, and the best laid birth plans go up the Swanee if the baby decides otherwise.  Great piece of life writing.

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks AF. I had another two after him - no drugs and loads of smiles. I was / am really proud of my boy. Couldn't believe I could make a boy - how weird is that? But you are so right, it ain't always up to us if baby decides otherwise. 

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Had one of the early epidurals in the early 70s because the baby was breech, and they said you needed to be stopped from pushing too early as the baby's bottom is so small. I'd had it for so long in the end that was given something for sickness that made me sleepy, and had to be woken up to try to push, with no feeling at all. They tickled him behind the knee with a metal stick to make him kick out so they could grab his foot, and then when his hind end was born and felt cold, he gulped in liquid and so had to be rushed off for it all to be sucked out before he could cry. He didn't look at all attractive in his incubator, and I felt anyone else must know more about it than me, but in the end realised no-one else would really care as much as his mother, so got on with it! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Bee

Thanks for sharing your son's birth with us - and as it seems we all have something similar to remember. Boys do seem to be more trouble - from the moment they are conceived - but its not their fault at that age. I refiused drugs with my first baby, and then demanded them when the going got tough. The obstetritian gave me pethidine during transition (way too late) , and it relaxed me too much. The birth itself was pretty easy, but the womb wouldn't contract back into shape, so I was bleeding copiously and thought I was dying for awhile there. But the funny thing was that it didn't bother me. But then everything went back to normal and life continued. My daughter had a tough first birth and didn't feel anything for her child for the first few days. I felt so bad for both of them.

Jean

Jean Day